Saturday, July 10, 2010 Excert from Diamond in Your Pocket by Gangaji

Friday, July 09, 2010 I have just celebrated my birthday here in Paris with my beautiful family... Viv and Jonathan have lived here for 23 years and they are a dynamic and creative couple. (A little side story...Viv was telling me yesterday about her wedding in Las Vegas many years ago ... they eloped and surprised the family upon their return.)

I woke early in the morning to a gift from my grown children back in Australia - lots of love letters and photos of of us, I was so moved by their cards and thoughts. Lots of messages from friends and a call from Roger in the Alps...

Last night Viv, Jonathan and I were joined by other sister in law and her husband, Tess and John, who live in Melbourne and are also over for holidays. We had a beautiful tagine rich with flavours of mint, coriander, prunes and vegetables... and a chocolate cake.

And for my present...the sales are on in Paris... so I bought a gorgeous summer dress for the incredible heat...and some new wedding suits for my return next year! I love dressing up for weddings and the suits here are so elegant!

Thursday, July 08, 2010 At the end of our stay in the UK we drove up to Glasgow to see a theatre performance hosted by Roger's daughter, Jess, whom I love and respect greatly. She is a strong, independent and passionate young woman, a beautiful wife to her husband Julian and a fabulous mum to our two grandchildren - I really enjoy her company and enthusiasm for art and her family.

I was excited and also a bit nervous as we waited in the foyer of the Arches Theatre, a magnificent underground building  in the old train station in the centure of Glasgow. There were lots of of beautiful brick arches and tunnels everywhere transformed into cafes, workshop spaces and performance spaces. This was not like your usual stage performance. Jess is one of the founding members of Uninvited Guests

They declare on their website about the company formed in 1998: 'Uninvited Guests make entertaining and provocative performance. Our work represents a contemporary reality, in which memories of movies are as much part of our experience as intimate dialogues with lovers. We work in various contexts and constellations, focusing mainly on performance but also producing installation and digital media. Recent work has blurred the line between theatre and social festivities, with audiences joining us in events that are celebratory and elegiac, nostalgic and critical of these times.'

We were attending the performance, 'Love letters straight from the heart'.

'Let's raise our glasses to long lost loves and current lovers, to mums, to dads and to absent friends ' Uninvited Guests stage an event that is somewhere between a wedding reception, a wake and a radio dedication show. We speak of our own and other's loves - deep, passionate, ambivalent and unrequited - and dedicate songs to them.'

We entered the softly lit room to find a long u-shaped table that almost filled the length of the room. The red tableclothes and red roses suggested we were entering into a reception venue... complete with a glass of champagne! There was about thirty audience members and two performers, Jess and her colleague, Richard.

They welecomed us with an introduction and then sat at either end of the room with  sound equipment ...and the performance/ceremony began.

I was completely mesmerised by the interaction between the two of them, their portrayal of young new love and tired love...of enthusiasm and disinterest...
they shared the dedications that audience members had emailed in before the show, with the sound tracks they had chosen.

The diversity was rich, the depth profound, the sharing unexpected, and the range of comfort was variable. I could tell the young guys opposite me were challenged at times, and yet it was a powerful performance that I enjoyed immensely.

Given my background in celebrancy and having been privileged to read many loveletters over the last fifteen years I felt delighted that here was Jess, bringing out into the world people's stories - their loves, their broken hearts, their disappointments and expectations...  a magnificent performance and I was so proud of her!

Here's to love, and to sharing our stories...

My dedication was to Roger and I chose the song, Thank you for loving me, by Sinead O’Connor.

 

This song was played as part of the performance and then my letter, that I wrote, was read out. It was a powerful public declaration. Others too were touched when their letters were read.

My letter:

In my relationships, my first major one was when I was 17 years old, I have found joy and heartbreak. They have provided me with a rich and challenging learning ground. I have been pushed many times beyond what I thought were my limits, to breaking points that hurt and bared open my very being.

As a young girl I wanted to believe in fairytales – finding the right partner for a lifelong union and the dream, ‘they lived happily ever after’.  My life, naturally, revealed a different tale… three difficult, yet upon reflection, beautiful, intimate relationships.

I cried when I heard Sinead O’Connor sing, ‘Thank you for breaking my heart’. I was outraged and yet, I knew, in truth, its beauty.

In my experience these three key relationships brought me face to face with my own foibles and ineffective ways of relating. They poked and prodded me to discover my inner qualities of courage and strength, to find and speak the truth, to access resources that lay dormant in me… of being dynamic and also still… these have been the fruits of the alchemy of loving.

I have learnt through the struggles the art of non violent communication and compassion. I have faced injustice and fears, my own and others. Each of partners saw me for who I am, in all my colours, and they loved me.

With Roger, my partner now of many years, I have deepened my connection to inner peace and sense of Self. It may have been age and maturity that saw us both move forward into a different way of relating, however I have deep gratitude for this journey we share and raise a glass to the Wendy and Roger dance.

 

Thank you Roger for loving me. Thank you for seeing me and not leaving me. Thank you for silence with me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for holding me and saying I could be. Thank you for breaking my heart, thank you for tearing me apart. Now I am a strong, strong heart.

Thank you for loving me.

If you have read this far... are you interested in making a dedication and sharing your love letter and dedication with my readers???

 I would love to hear from you. Please email me.
info@wendyhaynes.com

Congratulations to Unvited Guests!

Tuesday, July 06, 2010 When I was searching 'celebrants in France' to see how the celebrancy field was faring in this part of the world I came across a simple, yet very elegant and appealing site 'Celebrants in France', a group of four celebrants who have joined together in the south east of the country to form quite a dynamic team. I emailed them to say how much I loved their website and saying that I was in the SW of France.

I received a lovely email back from Colin Ward, one of the celebrants on the team. He wrote, 'The celebrancy market in France (for English speaking couples) is a fairly new idea, and while I was looking at what sort of approach may be suitable in France I did take inspiration from some sites in the US and Australia and in particular yours (and another Australian site).

So thanks to you.

We work with wedding planners and venues for larger weddings but for smaller ceremonies up to ten people we try to offer an affordable and simple package. We also offer bi-lingual (English/French) ceremonies which are always a challenge.'

It is a small world after all!

I don't think my French is good enough for a bi-lingual ceremony yet!! I did go out shopping today on my own and managed to convey my needs in the phone shop and also the grocery store... ie i came back with exactly what i wanted!!

Monday, July 05, 2010 Family rituals can have everlasting and fond memories. These two little girls playing by the edge of the water in the sand nudged treasured memories of the times I spent with my sisters down at the beach.


I grew up in Tasmania, having emigrated out from England when I was eight. Tasmania was a tropical paradise to us pommies down under. Dad used to take us to the beach nearly every day after school, come summer and winter (now this memory is an old one so allow for some exaggeration ...maybe just a tad! Anyway, it seemed like every day and it was often enough to create a fabulous memory.

My three sisters and I would play for hours together building sandcastles, covering each others bodies in sand and sculpting mermaids, we carved out boats in the wet sand.We spent hours in the water splashing each other and jumping in the waves. I can still feel the chill in my bones and the chattering of my teeth,  the faint blue skin and shivering. We would dry ourselves with scratchy towels as the sand was stuck to our clammy bodies, and then with sticky clothes we would bundle into the Holden stationwagon and head for home, and always, we would stop at the corner store and buy an ice cream - a Choc Wedge which were about 15 cents each. I can still see the old milk bar at Bellerive although I am sure it has long been replaced by an upmarket beachfront cafe...

The rituals we give our children, by sharing with them regular joyful and carefree activities, will stay as treasured memories for a long time. I knew looking at these two sisters lost in play, oblivious to the people around them as they built sandcastles and moats, splashed and played for hours in this alpine paradise, would remember this day with great joy. For me recalling the rituals our parents gave us four girls,amongst them... regular trips to the beach, camping holidays, Sunday roasts and the other simple routines and rituals our family life held bought a warmth to my heart.

And the antics of this family made me laugh... how come kids can have so much fun in the water with just a foam mattress? These children played for hours, sometimes raucously, and then would take time to chill out and just relax on it and float about ... before the fun would all begin again. Thank goodness for the playfulness of children.

Friday, July 02, 2010

Sitting in the high alpine meadows of the alps, surrounded by beautiful buttercups and wild azaleas, with just the breeze rustling the fir trees behind us, it is very easy to find the peace and stillness that is present within oneself. It is the times of stress and turmoil that present the biggest challenges and I appreciate all the reminders I can get ... and today I received the Gangaji Newsletter in which Gangaji is quoted as saying, "The really good news is that there is lasting fullfillment, and it is already present in you. There is already silence and quiet and peace that is at the core of yourself. Under the obsessive thoughts and plans, under the emotions, positive and negative, there is an ocean of peace, a universe of peace, and it is aware of itself. It is yourself, actually."

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 Getting married in France is a different legal process from how we do it in Australia. Every couple must contact their local mayor's office and organise to register their wedding with the government office first. Then, if  the couple wish, they can then proceed to have a church wedding or a civil ceremony. As we were walking through the beautiful alpine town of Sallanche on Saturday we saw a large wedding taking place at the Mairie's office.

There is more bureaucracy to manage over here than in Australia... all couples are required to have the necessary birth certificates (and divorce or death certificates if necessary) but they also need a pre-nuptal medical certificate, a certifice of law (I couldn't quite determine what that was for) and also a certificate of capacity to marry.

The few websites which I read about getting married here in France all concur that is quite difficult for couples who are not French nationals to get married legally here. They highly recommended that overseas couples have a registry wedding in their country of origin and then have the 'wedding' (even though it is not a legal ceremony) over here. The possible venues are absolutely stunning... check out this site, Go Marry in France, if you are interested!

I took this photo from just down the street where the wedding was happening at the Mayor's office in Sallanche ... a great view of Mont Blanc ... a spectacular backdrop for the wedding photos. In truth, any direction had great views!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010 Where we are staying in the French Alps is stunning. The couple who own the gorgeous apartment we are staying in are both adventurers of the top kind. We were talking with our host, Louise Robertson today and she has climbed Mont Blanc in 12 hours there and back from her front door. This is serious climbing! Her husband Neil Ward has climbed Mt Everest and many other high peaks around the world. They are both quiet and unassuming people with amazing courage, strength and a sense of wanting to climb!

This story about their wedding is based upon information from an article in the Hello magazine.

Neil, the groom to be, was participating in a challenge to row across the Atlantic from the Canary Islands to the Carribean and he joked to his fiance, Louise, that he would row across the Atlantic to marry her. She thought it was a great idea to make it an actuality and organised the wedding to happen on his arrival in the Caribbean. She organised the arrangements through travel operators, Tropical Sky, and planned a simple wedding on the beach with a few family members. Only a few challenges on the way for him ... 2,500 miles rowing, bad weather, arrived nearly a week after the scheduled date, the small boat and hot torture chamber of a sleeping cabin, the crew could hardly stand when they arrived... but they recovered quickly enough for the ceremony on the beach...For Louise she had to cancel her plane tickets three times (as they thought they would have to change the venue to Antigua when bad weather took the boat off course), wait patiently on the beach for ten days looking out for his boat and finally when they were in mobile range had ten minutes to get ready and down to the beach to greet him...

I spoke to her today about it and she said it was a fabulous time and next year he plans to join the crew for another challenge (as they didn't beat the world record of 33 days ... it took them 39 days) She says they are planning another rendezvous again... all in all a great tale to tell the children!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Our host, Cecile is an amazing woman that is truly inspirational. Yesterday we celebrated her birthday with her husband and two of her three beautiful daughters. Aside from being a great mum, a gardener and a nurse she is currently training to become an accredited mountain guide. Now that is pretty exciting in itself especially when you consider the peaks that are in her back yard. Mont Blanc just to name one! Yet when you add into the mix, that for years, she has worked, with others, to give people with disabilities an opportunity to get into the mountains I am in awe.

Cecile is part of an organisation called 'Ensemble'. (Translates as 'Together') This association was formed in 2008 and its purpose is to gather people together to support the goal of making the mountain accessible to all. It is for people with disabilities - physical or mental, any persons in recovery from an illness or accident or any other people who are eager to discover the world of the mountains.

With her colleagues they literally push or pull the people around the mountains in a special 'Joelette' which requires at least two helpers to make it possible. When I looked at her photos of one of the expeditions I was in tears. The joy on peoples faces as they are carried to the top of the mountains is indescribable. I have walked some of these peaks and they are not a stroll in the park; they are seriously steep and demanding at times and yet, it is worth every step. For Cecile this is the same even with the extra load - she is happy and delighted to be of service. What a gift for herself and for those who would otherwise never get to have this alpine experience in this way.

These photos are from the Tour de Blanc - a trip around the alps!




In 2008 a group of European and Peruvian walkers and guides, including Cecile, took 4 people in the joelettes and one blind person around the mountains in Peru on a one month expedition! Cecile is in green in the first photo below.




I know it must be amazing for those being carried however I asked Cecile how the people were with receiving such a gift ... while knowing others are working really hard to carry them.

Cecile said that this can be a problem however before they start the expedition they let the people (who are being assisted) know that, as guides and the support team, they are very happy to be there and to be of service. If the people are feeling apologetic or a burden; or over grateful it can be quite difficult for everyone - so this is sorted out very early on. 

What a great reminder of how important it is to receive a gift or an act of kindness with an open heart and by doing so we are, in truth, giving back to the giver.

I am deeply grateful to have met Cecile!

Monday, June 21, 2010

The couple who we are staying with in Les Plagnes, France are both dynamic and generous in their homes and in their work.

Pascal, grows organic fruit and vegetables commercially to sell to the local school restaurants (who make lunches for all of the children every day), shops and individuals who buy direct from the gardens. He also has chooks and bakes fresh bread in the old traditional ways using a wood fired oven. He has established a large community garden adjoining a public garden display where young people, unemployed people or those in retraining programs come to learn new skills in the garden. He also is employed to work in schools teaching children traditional gardening methods and baking bread. These skills are being lost in the local homes and families as people rely on supermarkets for their food and yet, they were once an important part of the social and family fabric. It certainly delights my spirit to pick fresh vegies straight from the garden and smell the delicious aroma of fresh bread.

I have made bread regularly at home especially when my children were little. It is an art form that is rich with history (having been made for centuries) and is a lovely process that is especially great to share with young children who love the magic of the bread rising and, of course, eating the end results.

On Friday night I had the privilege of helping Pascal with the baking. At 11pm, while everyone else was sleeping, we mixed the starter - a special yeast, flour, salt and water mix which begins the process.



While this gooey mix bubbled and doubled in size we prepared the tins, lined baskets and the 'mixing bowl' which was a large wooden trough with four large carrying handles. When the starter was ready Pascal added the starter, the warm water and the organic flour to the 'bowl'. Then it was our four hands in (after a good scrub of course!) The rhythmic movements slowly blended the ingredients to a soft and pliable dough - giving life to this precious mix - the magic of the bread was just beginning. We worked steadily kneading the dough until the flour was absorbed and then, when it was ready, covered the mix with a large white cloth to allow it 6 hours to do its own work. The dough was alive!

 

Off to bed to get some rest until 5.30am when Pascal got up to light the wood fired oven.

Pulling back the cloth from the large trough revealed a bubbling white thick dough which had doubled in size. 50kg of dough now needs to be kneaded. Once again we get our hands in and pull and stretch the dough making it smooth and aerated. Good fun and great muscle building!



Then comes the measuring of the dough for the loaves and the shaping. Pascal is an old hand at this, gently massaging the ball of dough between his hands to create the shapes of the round loaf... I take a few go's to get the right shape and texture. It is a dance between the two of us as we move about the kitchen and then voila! It is done! Loaves in baskets and tins ready to rise again. Time now to have some breakfast.



Getting the oven temperature just right is vital and watching him move the coals, clean the brick cooking surface inside the wood oven and ensure the oven is the right temperature is enthralling. I was captivated watching the master at work. Next, the quick transference of the loaves into the oven using a long flat wooden spatula to place them inside...and the door is sealed. Our job is done.

45 minutes later our hard work is rewarded with fresh, hot bread. After it cools we package it all up ready for the customers who arrive throughout the day. What an experience! This WWOOFing experience has given us so many gifts already... and my French is improving!