meet wendy haynes,
leading australian wedding & civil celebrant
I love my work and have been passionate about celebrancy since I was appointed in 1995. 
I love my work and have been passionate about celebrancy since I was appointed in 1995. 
more about Wendy
I have the great joy of reading a dear friend’s university assignments which I have shared parts of in previous blogs. I offer this excerpt here with Beth’s permission.
“The last time I made baskets, I was privileged to be sitting on the earth by a grass shelter in Arnhem Land on a magnificent escarpment looking eastward to the ocean. I sat for some days listening to the women of that land speak their language, gently inviting us visitors into their world. The quiet and unceasing tenacity for threading grasses, tying knots, sitting in this bliss for endless hours was mesmerising. Connecting to the profound depth of this rhythm & ritual affected me greatly & I wept when it was time to leave.
This weekend I have spent time again making baskets, sitting with the women of Burwarrinyin Women’s Network on my home Gumbaynggirr land at the Yarrawarra Cultural Centre at Corindi Beach. One of the women commented early in the weekend that she felt very comfortable in the circle even though most of us hadn’t met before. We discussed the various ways that we communicate in relation to weaving such as, “yarnin’ up”, “getting tied up in knots”, “I’m going to stitch this plan up”, “we need to tie up some loose ends”, “put a spin on the story”, “she’s really twisted”…on it goes. What a wonderful metaphor weaving is for life, a microcosm of the macrocosm, I thought. At the end of the weekend I pondered why I felt so energised. What was this process I’d been part of, and why did it feel so good? What was being communicated? …
When I looked at a definition of ‘counsellor’ I began to understand what had gone on in our circle of women. Nelson-Jones (1988, p. 4) states, “The helper’s skills include those of forming & understanding relationships, as well as interventions focused on helping clients change specific aspects of their feeling, thinking & action.” Our teacher Dee Murphy embraced these qualities so beautifully, clearly wanting to build meaningful relationship, with receptivity & acceptance of each individual’s journey.” (Beth Wrigley)
There are so many ways in which we can connect to each other, to our community and to those friends we have yet to meet. This story of Beth’s reveals a cultural tradition that enriches those who participate. When we engage with others in ritual it breaks down boundaries and opens our heart to our shared humanity.
Photo by Beth Wrigley
Having enjoyed the music and camaraderie of the hurdy gurdy festival recently in Youlgreave, Derby, UK recently I was delighted to then read an article in The Daily Telegraph (18th May 2010) entitled ‘Music unlocks the key to their souls’ by Stephen Hough (concert pianist and Telegraph blogger)
‘What makes playing a musical instrument worthy of special attention is that its physical and mental complexities are a springboard to something beyond the tangible or measurable. Unlike sport, music is not about winning, or keeping fit, or promoting your town or school; it’s about celebrating, to a level approaching ecstasy, the deepest human longings. At moments of acute joy or sorrow, men and women throughout history have sung or reached for musical instruments to express the inexpressible. When minds are taut with emotional entanglement, there seems to be an inner compulsive instinct to release and harness this tension through the measured vibrations in the air we call music.’
Hough goes on to write that music makes people happy. ‘Few occupations pass the solitary hours more fruitfully than the playing of a musical instrument’ and quotes Pascal, ‘the sole cause of man’s unhappiness is that he does not know how to stay quietly in his room.’
Music can certainly lift my spirits and if all else fails will get me to shake my tail feather until I am laughing!
As Roger and I reach the 6 month mark of our travels I marvel at the inner terrain we have covered which has been as diverse and as inspiring as many of the outer wonders we have witnessed, and at times, as daunting. For both of us putting aside our home, work, family and community; our daily routines and acts of service and stepping into the unknown opened up the gates of fear, grief and sadness as well as relief and excitement for some time out from the busyness. We dedicated this journey to our relationship and also our spiritual path. As well as the walking and exploring, we share two meditation periods a day which holds our focus on peace and harmony… which I have called upon more than a few times.
I have discovered aspects of myself that have long laid hidden (or so I thought) …both creative and destructive and reading through my journal makes me cry and laugh. How seriously I can take things! And yet, I know the power of this time to explore this inner reality. As I walk the mountains, and through the valley, past the streams and over the footpaths walked by thousands of others for centuries I feel connected to all of humanity – to the struggle and the beauty. I feel a sense of peace, a sense of safety, of trusty, a sense of knowing all is well. Each moment is precious and I give thanks for the luxury of having time out. I feel deeply blessed.
from my beloved roger...
G;day from the lake district. We are ensconced in the heart of this magical Tolkien landscape
walking out the door gives access to awesome walking and we have been blessed with long sunny days
allowing us to spend 8 or 9 hours up high...wandering, view soaking, snoozing (vibe soaking). we have been blessed also with 2 australian visitors -hari, then dave and uzzi -a real treat.
Full moon looming and 17 hours of daylight making for a very bright time here. Bathing in the tarns [brrrrrr] and streams [surprisingly warm] as we go
managed to fit a trip to glasgow in where we attended my daughter jess's theatre piece ...brilliant
we camped in a very remote spot up a blind wide valley on the way there, by a beautiful stream, in exquisite wilderness.
After a 2 hour drive from there we were in central glagow felt like we were on another planet
my eyes were on stalks and jaw on the ground. First city in 6 months...lots of people, milling and shopping
what a colourful bunch we humans are.
as well as the awesome outside landscape, wendy and i have been visiting some amazing and intense inner scenes too. The intensity of 24/7 living pushes us ever deeper into cathedral caves with narrow tunnel entrances; lush meadows full of wildflowers; vast mountain vistas; icy pools, which shock the system; and the silence of stillness itself.
from the inner and outer apparrent worlds we send all our love to you
While climbing the beginning of the Pike Fells we came across a group of children out on an adventure, Ghyll Scrambling… a freezing sport of donning protective gear and climbing up the freezing ghylls. (small waterfalls and creeks running down the side of the mountains). They were shrieking and laughing and having a ball. From my perspective they all were actively engaged and having a great time.
This activity, despite the frozen toes, chilled bodies and discomfort will remain as a highlight in most of these children’s memories. While a fun activity for children it is also affirming their ability to do things outside of their normal comfort zone, to find their own courage and strength and to try things they would not normally do.
When my son attended the ‘Pathways to Manhood’ camp many years ago he was given the opportunity to be in situations that he wouldn’t normally have done at home or in his social group (i.e. spending a night out in the forest on his own with few provisions or cover). It is these experiences, while not always comfortable yet given the right support, will have a lasting impact upon young people’s development. Blended with the sharing of universally acceptable values and morals these ‘adventures’ develop the character and resources of young people.
Rona Goold from the ACCN and I were discussing (by email) the importance of rites of passage for young people. She has put together a proposal for a Citizenship Package for young people turning 18. I will let you know when i hear more about it.
Old boots and flower pots
People love to collect things: we have seen gardens filled with gnomes, with sea shells, windmills and other random assorted items… this little garden in Tissington took our fancy with its ‘old boot flower pots’ There were at least 20 of them scattered through their garden and at the front door. I guess, it all started with one old boot … and then before you know it all of their friends knew where to toss their old boots!
Family rituals or customs start somewhere. I remember reading a story of a mother who had a beautiful handmade apron that her mother had made. One day her grown daughter came home to visit and upon leaving her mother carefully tucked the family heirloom apron into her daughter’s suitcase with a love note. Her daughter laughed when she found her grandma’s apron and the message inside. She loved wearing her mothers and grandmother’s apron in the kitchen.
When the daughter next visited her mother she carefully hid the apron somewhere she knew her mother would find it after she had returned home. And sure enough her mother smiled when she found the apron with another love note attached. In this way, a tradition began of passing the apron back and forth, by various means between the two women.
The truly magnificent Lake District is a delight to behold. The long lakes, still tarns, birch and beech forests, craggy outcrops of rocks and tall inviting mountains with ridge walks for miles and miles.
We have been here two days and had two awesome eight hour walks … the skies were blue and clear and our enthusiasm brimming… so we took advantage of the fine weather climbing Weatherlam and down into Tibblethwaite Valley on the first day, and yesterday we climbed the steep Langdale Pikes over to High Raise back down in Elterwater. I was done by the time we reached the local pub where Rog had a beer and I hitched a ride back to our car (it is definitely easier for me to get a lift on my own!)
We left Derby on Saturday after having some exquisite walks through magnificent blue bell woods which were heavenly. The blues, purples and whites of the flowers in the forest highlighted against an iridescent green backdrop are a feast for the eyes. They are set amongst lovely old oak and birch trees which filter the light into the woods. Miles upon miles of lovely bluebells, hillsides and valleys… and the exquisite perfume that is subtle yet intoxicating enthralls me. I lay down in the woods and just let the scent and colours enrich my senses.
England is now flush with leaves on the trees, bright yellows, greens and the reddy browns of the copper beech. It really is a time for celebrating the newness of the world and Mother Nature’s awesome ability to regenerate after a long, cold winter. The days are longer with the dawn starting around 4am (complete with bird song!) and the twilight lingering on past 10pm. We’ve enjoyed walking until quite late knowing we have many hours of daylight left.
On our journey here through the Yorkshire Dales we camped out in our little campervan in a remote spot by the river. I was outside doing my yoga just before going to bed … very active yoga to keep warm… and spied the first star of the evening and then the new crescent moon… one of the joys of camping out!
We woke in the morning to the sound of hundreds of cyclists whizzing past us (about 6am) in all their slick gear. They would pass in groups of 15 or so, with the occasional solo rider. Two hours later there were still large groups passing us. It turns out we were on the route for the 140 mile fundraising bike ride with over 900 riders taking part. On our way, carefully, up the road we stopped and chatted with one of the organizers who told us they were going up and over mountains and the shortest time would be five hours…. With most of the riders taking all day! It was a grueling route and we passed some of them on the final leg later that afternoon.
We called into Haworth which is the home of the Bronte sisters and it was festival time honouring the end of WWII (a special festival touring the nation). It was party time and everyone dressed up in period costume. There were soldiers, nurses, airforce personnel, women’s land army, a few SS officers, farm workers, shop owners and even a ‘street worker’ playing it up with the local bobby! There was music playing from the 40’s and the spirit in the air was friendly and revealed a community playing theatre together. We happened to just drop in and enjoy it! I remember reading an article about communities during crisis periods and the way in which it pulled people together, strengthening the community and also, noticeably reducing the incidents of depression. The sense of camaraderie and shared purpose was played out in this celebration.
We left Derby on Saturday after having some exquisite walks through magnificent blue bell woods which were heavenly. The blues, purples and whites of the flowers in the forest highlighted against an iridescent green backdrop are a feast for the eyes. They are set amongst lovely old oak and birch trees which filter the light into the woods. Miles upon miles of lovely bluebells, hillsides and valleys… and the exquisite perfume that is subtle yet intoxicating enthralls me. I lay down in the woods and just let the scent and colours enrich my senses.
Well Dressing in Tissington
An old tradition in the Derby area is the dressing of the wells. The community comes together to create these beautiful pieces of art. A week before the event the boards on which the pictures are mounted are soaked in the village pond. After this they are plastered in clay which is collected locally. The clay is mixed with salt and trodden (like grapes) to the right consistency. It is then evenly laid over the soaked board to form the next layer of the picture. The picture is then traced onto this surface and the outline defined with beans or the cones of the alder tree or coffee beans. Then comes the laborious task of laying the flower petals in. The petals are placed overlapping like tiles on a roof so that any rain may fall off the picture. This process takes three full days working together in groups. It is completed on Ascension Day. The well dressings are then blessed by the local priest and visited by thousands of tourists, like myself, before they are taken down the following week. The detail is stunning as you can see in the one of Noah’s ark. Noah’s beard is formed by the pussy willow buds. In Tissington they pride themselves on using nothing artificial in their pictures.
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