Wednesday, July 28, 2010 How lovely it is to have someone stand by us: Yesterday as we were walking up the hill I felt really tired ... like I could not take one more step... or did not want to... Roger reached out and took my hand and I felt touched by his support; given without a word spoken.

Then our dear friend, Lisa; emailed this song through to us today...

Says it all really

Stand By Me

Saturday, July 10, 2010 Excert from Diamond in Your Pocket by Gangaji

Thursday, July 08, 2010 At the end of our stay in the UK we drove up to Glasgow to see a theatre performance hosted by Roger's daughter, Jess, whom I love and respect greatly. She is a strong, independent and passionate young woman, a beautiful wife to her husband Julian and a fabulous mum to our two grandchildren - I really enjoy her company and enthusiasm for art and her family.

I was excited and also a bit nervous as we waited in the foyer of the Arches Theatre, a magnificent underground building  in the old train station in the centure of Glasgow. There were lots of of beautiful brick arches and tunnels everywhere transformed into cafes, workshop spaces and performance spaces. This was not like your usual stage performance. Jess is one of the founding members of Uninvited Guests

They declare on their website about the company formed in 1998: 'Uninvited Guests make entertaining and provocative performance. Our work represents a contemporary reality, in which memories of movies are as much part of our experience as intimate dialogues with lovers. We work in various contexts and constellations, focusing mainly on performance but also producing installation and digital media. Recent work has blurred the line between theatre and social festivities, with audiences joining us in events that are celebratory and elegiac, nostalgic and critical of these times.'

We were attending the performance, 'Love letters straight from the heart'.

'Let's raise our glasses to long lost loves and current lovers, to mums, to dads and to absent friends ' Uninvited Guests stage an event that is somewhere between a wedding reception, a wake and a radio dedication show. We speak of our own and other's loves - deep, passionate, ambivalent and unrequited - and dedicate songs to them.'

We entered the softly lit room to find a long u-shaped table that almost filled the length of the room. The red tableclothes and red roses suggested we were entering into a reception venue... complete with a glass of champagne! There was about thirty audience members and two performers, Jess and her colleague, Richard.

They welecomed us with an introduction and then sat at either end of the room with  sound equipment ...and the performance/ceremony began.

I was completely mesmerised by the interaction between the two of them, their portrayal of young new love and tired love...of enthusiasm and disinterest...
they shared the dedications that audience members had emailed in before the show, with the sound tracks they had chosen.

The diversity was rich, the depth profound, the sharing unexpected, and the range of comfort was variable. I could tell the young guys opposite me were challenged at times, and yet it was a powerful performance that I enjoyed immensely.

Given my background in celebrancy and having been privileged to read many loveletters over the last fifteen years I felt delighted that here was Jess, bringing out into the world people's stories - their loves, their broken hearts, their disappointments and expectations...  a magnificent performance and I was so proud of her!

Here's to love, and to sharing our stories...

My dedication was to Roger and I chose the song, Thank you for loving me, by Sinead O’Connor.

 

This song was played as part of the performance and then my letter, that I wrote, was read out. It was a powerful public declaration. Others too were touched when their letters were read.

My letter:

In my relationships, my first major one was when I was 17 years old, I have found joy and heartbreak. They have provided me with a rich and challenging learning ground. I have been pushed many times beyond what I thought were my limits, to breaking points that hurt and bared open my very being.

As a young girl I wanted to believe in fairytales – finding the right partner for a lifelong union and the dream, ‘they lived happily ever after’.  My life, naturally, revealed a different tale… three difficult, yet upon reflection, beautiful, intimate relationships.

I cried when I heard Sinead O’Connor sing, ‘Thank you for breaking my heart’. I was outraged and yet, I knew, in truth, its beauty.

In my experience these three key relationships brought me face to face with my own foibles and ineffective ways of relating. They poked and prodded me to discover my inner qualities of courage and strength, to find and speak the truth, to access resources that lay dormant in me… of being dynamic and also still… these have been the fruits of the alchemy of loving.

I have learnt through the struggles the art of non violent communication and compassion. I have faced injustice and fears, my own and others. Each of partners saw me for who I am, in all my colours, and they loved me.

With Roger, my partner now of many years, I have deepened my connection to inner peace and sense of Self. It may have been age and maturity that saw us both move forward into a different way of relating, however I have deep gratitude for this journey we share and raise a glass to the Wendy and Roger dance.

 

Thank you Roger for loving me. Thank you for seeing me and not leaving me. Thank you for silence with me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for holding me and saying I could be. Thank you for breaking my heart, thank you for tearing me apart. Now I am a strong, strong heart.

Thank you for loving me.

If you have read this far... are you interested in making a dedication and sharing your love letter and dedication with my readers???

 I would love to hear from you. Please email me.
info@wendyhaynes.com

Congratulations to Unvited Guests!

Monday, July 05, 2010 Family rituals can have everlasting and fond memories. These two little girls playing by the edge of the water in the sand nudged treasured memories of the times I spent with my sisters down at the beach.


I grew up in Tasmania, having emigrated out from England when I was eight. Tasmania was a tropical paradise to us pommies down under. Dad used to take us to the beach nearly every day after school, come summer and winter (now this memory is an old one so allow for some exaggeration ...maybe just a tad! Anyway, it seemed like every day and it was often enough to create a fabulous memory.

My three sisters and I would play for hours together building sandcastles, covering each others bodies in sand and sculpting mermaids, we carved out boats in the wet sand.We spent hours in the water splashing each other and jumping in the waves. I can still feel the chill in my bones and the chattering of my teeth,  the faint blue skin and shivering. We would dry ourselves with scratchy towels as the sand was stuck to our clammy bodies, and then with sticky clothes we would bundle into the Holden stationwagon and head for home, and always, we would stop at the corner store and buy an ice cream - a Choc Wedge which were about 15 cents each. I can still see the old milk bar at Bellerive although I am sure it has long been replaced by an upmarket beachfront cafe...

The rituals we give our children, by sharing with them regular joyful and carefree activities, will stay as treasured memories for a long time. I knew looking at these two sisters lost in play, oblivious to the people around them as they built sandcastles and moats, splashed and played for hours in this alpine paradise, would remember this day with great joy. For me recalling the rituals our parents gave us four girls,amongst them... regular trips to the beach, camping holidays, Sunday roasts and the other simple routines and rituals our family life held bought a warmth to my heart.

And the antics of this family made me laugh... how come kids can have so much fun in the water with just a foam mattress? These children played for hours, sometimes raucously, and then would take time to chill out and just relax on it and float about ... before the fun would all begin again. Thank goodness for the playfulness of children.

Friday, July 02, 2010

Sitting in the high alpine meadows of the alps, surrounded by beautiful buttercups and wild azaleas, with just the breeze rustling the fir trees behind us, it is very easy to find the peace and stillness that is present within oneself. It is the times of stress and turmoil that present the biggest challenges and I appreciate all the reminders I can get ... and today I received the Gangaji Newsletter in which Gangaji is quoted as saying, "The really good news is that there is lasting fullfillment, and it is already present in you. There is already silence and quiet and peace that is at the core of yourself. Under the obsessive thoughts and plans, under the emotions, positive and negative, there is an ocean of peace, a universe of peace, and it is aware of itself. It is yourself, actually."

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Our host, Cecile is an amazing woman that is truly inspirational. Yesterday we celebrated her birthday with her husband and two of her three beautiful daughters. Aside from being a great mum, a gardener and a nurse she is currently training to become an accredited mountain guide. Now that is pretty exciting in itself especially when you consider the peaks that are in her back yard. Mont Blanc just to name one! Yet when you add into the mix, that for years, she has worked, with others, to give people with disabilities an opportunity to get into the mountains I am in awe.

Cecile is part of an organisation called 'Ensemble'. (Translates as 'Together') This association was formed in 2008 and its purpose is to gather people together to support the goal of making the mountain accessible to all. It is for people with disabilities - physical or mental, any persons in recovery from an illness or accident or any other people who are eager to discover the world of the mountains.

With her colleagues they literally push or pull the people around the mountains in a special 'Joelette' which requires at least two helpers to make it possible. When I looked at her photos of one of the expeditions I was in tears. The joy on peoples faces as they are carried to the top of the mountains is indescribable. I have walked some of these peaks and they are not a stroll in the park; they are seriously steep and demanding at times and yet, it is worth every step. For Cecile this is the same even with the extra load - she is happy and delighted to be of service. What a gift for herself and for those who would otherwise never get to have this alpine experience in this way.

These photos are from the Tour de Blanc - a trip around the alps!




In 2008 a group of European and Peruvian walkers and guides, including Cecile, took 4 people in the joelettes and one blind person around the mountains in Peru on a one month expedition! Cecile is in green in the first photo below.




I know it must be amazing for those being carried however I asked Cecile how the people were with receiving such a gift ... while knowing others are working really hard to carry them.

Cecile said that this can be a problem however before they start the expedition they let the people (who are being assisted) know that, as guides and the support team, they are very happy to be there and to be of service. If the people are feeling apologetic or a burden; or over grateful it can be quite difficult for everyone - so this is sorted out very early on. 

What a great reminder of how important it is to receive a gift or an act of kindness with an open heart and by doing so we are, in truth, giving back to the giver.

I am deeply grateful to have met Cecile!

Sunday, June 20, 2010 A friend sent me a link to a video on YouTube. I had tears rolling down my cheeks as I listened to Nick Vujicic talk about how he changed from a man with no limbs to a man with no limits. I was moved to see how his attitude touched the young people he was speaking with.

If you have the time to sit back and watch this clip I highly recommend it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciYk-UwqFKA

may we all have the courage and support to overcome adversity in our lives
love and blessings, wendy

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Sunday, June 13, 2010

There are many ways to relate to each other - verbally and non verbally, both very powerful in their own right. I was deeply touched when I read about my dear friend, Margot's daughter, Emma and what she has achieved.

This information was sent to the local Rural Newspaper, Border Mail. Albury NSW (written by Margot Smith)

Local girl Emma Smith awarded Natural Horsemanship Scholarship.

 

Emma Smith, 18 years old, has been offered an opportunity to study with Pat Parelli, the World leader of Natural Horsemanship. There are currently 22,000 savvy club members World Wide, studying the Parelli methods as a foundation for natural horsemanship and Equine specialist goals.

 

Emma and her 8 year old Arab, cross Quarter horse, Banjo were one of 8 savvy members selected to represent the Savvy team for the first ever Share Parelli Event, held recently in Sydney. (May 8^th) with 1,700 spectators.

 

For Emma and Banjo, and most of the team, it was the first time in front of an audience or in an indoor arena.

 

That morning, Pat Parelli explained the format of the day, so there was no time for rehearsals or specific preparations. Pat and Linda Parelli had a vision to demonstrate how these young progressive students are currently managing individual horse behaviour under the Parelli Homestudy Program and the level of horsemanship that can be obtained through a relationship based on willingness instead of intimidation and harmony instead of coercion. Being prepared to “play with the horse that shows up on the day” was something the students had to be prepared for and to utilise their knowledge and leadership skills to put the relationship first.

 

Emma, Benn and Julie elected to do a solo demo with their horse. Each student was allowed  4 songs with which to play with their horse in any format - online, liberty or freestyle riding. They had the choice of including one, two or all three savvy’s. It was not a competition but a demonstration of a partnership between horse and human based on love, language and leadership.

Emma entered the arena with Banjo on a 45 foot line and took her time as he showed signs of being  a little right brain introverted. She used various on line patterns to increase his confidence in the new environment and establish a connection with relaxation as a priority. Gradually, Emma was able to further her distance from Banjo and guide from behind to move around obstacles at different gaits with the slightest suggestion and Banjo remained calm and responsive throughout.

The 45 foot line and halter were removed so Banjo was at liberty which meant he could leave her if he chose. The truth of the strong bond was very moving and a relationship between human and horse without tools or force was evident. Banjo maintained a willingness to stay connected, especially cantering at liberty around Emma, with softness and lightness.

 
Emma then rode Banjo without a bridle or halter and he followed her strong focus. They were like ballroom dancers, in harmony as they cantered and the duo finished with Banjo's feet on a pedestal. Both were calm and relaxed and showed a true partnership based on each knowing their responsibilities.

The audience responded with a standing ovation. There are occasions when Pat Parelli can be so moved by the relationship between horse and human, especially when the horse’s needs and dignity are foremost. His vision is about making the world a better place for horses and humans.

 

After thanking Emma for “showing the Parelli way” he asked Emma if she would like to come to the USA on a 3 month scholarship and attend the university for the Professional Instructor and Mastery Program. The only location in the world you can become an endorsed Parelli Proffessional. The comments on Parelli facebook and web site were all testimony to the inspiration Emma and Banjo invoked and how being totally present for the horse is so important.
 

The audience did not know at the time what a challenging and dominant horse Banjo once was. He had the nickname as “the punk” and his dominant behaviour concerned many. He would charge at people and his striking and defensive behaviour was common when he first came to Emma 3 years ago. It was the only way Banjo knew how to behave in the world of humans and his behaviours were managed in ways that made him even more defensive and dominant.

He looked like an angel at the seminar and the bond between Emma and Banjo were what many horse owners dream of.

The chance to go to Colorado is Emma's dream come true, one that she has had since she was 12. The fairytale story is not just about dreams coming true but also about overcoming adversity. Emma has had her fair share of challenges since she was 8 years old, after being in an accident with her family and witnessing the traumatic death of her younger sister, Georgia. Her happy family life was in an instant, changed forever. Coming to terms with death at a young age has been gradual.  Parelli has offered a way for Emma to heal and create something positive in her life. Her passion is horses and Emma shares Pat’s vision about making the world a better place for horses and humans.

Emma has been fortunate to have her family also involved in the program and Kaye Thomas, Emma’s mentor and local Parelli Professional Instructor has helped her on the horsemanship journey. The support and Homestudy educational information have been the major keys for progress.



For more info about Parelli or Endorsed Parelli Professional Instructors visit www.parellinaturalhorsetraining.com

Wendy: Congratulations Emma!

 

 

 

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Having enjoyed the music and camaraderie of the hurdy gurdy festival recently in Youlgreave, Derby, UK recently I was delighted to then read an article in The Daily Telegraph (18^th May 2010) entitled ‘Music unlocks the key to their souls’ by Stephen Hough (concert pianist and Telegraph blogger)

‘What makes playing a musical instrument worthy of special attention is that its physical and mental complexities are a springboard to something beyond the tangible or measurable. Unlike sport, music is not about winning, or keeping fit, or promoting your town or school; it’s about celebrating, to a level approaching ecstasy, the deepest human longings. At moments of acute joy or sorrow, men and women throughout history have sung or reached for musical instruments to express the inexpressible. When minds are taut with emotional entanglement, there seems to be an inner compulsive instinct to release and harness this tension through the measured vibrations in the air we call music.’

Hough goes on to write that music makes people happy. ‘Few occupations pass the solitary hours more fruitfully than the playing of a musical instrument’ and quotes Pascal, ‘the sole cause of man’s unhappiness is that he does not know how to stay quietly in his room.’

Music can certainly lift my spirits and if all else fails will get me to shake my tail feather until I am laughing!