Friday, April 02, 2010 Easter is just around the corner... and one of favourite family traditions is to bake Hot Cross Buns. Everyone would help with the kneading and creation of these yummy buns... I have just made a batch fro our friends here in Wales as they have a lovely AGA oven which is perfect for cooking anything... it is an awesome gas cast iron stove that has four ovens!

Here is my tried and true recipe that has been made ritually every year since my children were little.

This makes 2 dozen ... I halved it today and it was perfect for only a few of us!

Hot Cross Buns

Mix together:

• 5 ½  cups of plain flour
• ½ tsp salt
• 1 ½ tbl mixed spice
• 3 tblsp caster sugar
• 1 ½ tbl chopped peel
• 125g sultanas

In a cup mix 1 tsp caster sugar, 30g yeast – 2 sachets dried yeast.

In a saucepan melt 125g butter, 400ml milk and 2 beaten eggs. Cool until you can comfortably hold your finger in the liquid and count to ten... any hotter and you will kill the yeast and it won't work!

Add a little bit of this warm milk mix to the yeast mix  to make a gooey paste. Let this mixture sit for five minutes until it is all frothy.

Add all ingredients together, mixing well and then knead the dough lightly. Place the dough in a greased bowl, cover and leave in a warm place for one hour. It should rise and grow!

Gently punch the dough down in the bowl and place on floured bench, knead again and cut into 24 squares. Lightly knead each one and shape into a bun and place in greased tray so they are nearly touching (they will expand a little). Let the dough rise again for 30 mins.  Cook at 190-200 degrees  for 10 mins then reduce heat to 180 degrees and add the cross to the top. To make the batter for the crosses mix ¼ cup of plain and ¼ cup of SR flour and milk to paste. Pipe the batter onto the buns (or as I did today drizzle with a spoon) and cook for another 10 mins... nearly finished... glaze the tops of the buns with a mixture of dissolved agar agar or egg mixed with water. This will give it a rich brown shiny look. Cook for a further ten minutes.

Call your family and friends in and enjoy this delicious treat of Hot Cross Buns with butter and honey! Enjoy.

Sunday, December 06, 2009 MEMORIES OF WEDDINGS PAST

I remember being quite alarmed when I met this couple for the first time. When I opened my front door and welcomed them into my home the groom was holding their beautiful new born baby. He looked a little treasure fast asleep. I acknowledged their baby and the groom said, 'yeah, the little ##@!! didn't sleep last night'.

It took me quite aback that anyone would call their child by this language. I was starting to think that I would have to decline the booking as my judgements were making it clear that it wasn't going to be comfortable for me working with them.

However, what happened next was beautiful.

Since we had booked the time together I decided to relax and chill out and listen to their story. Prompted by my questions they proceeded to share what their vision was for their wedding (with some descriptive swear words included) His bride, a gentle but strong young lady, who was well spoken, did not apologise for his language, she just sat beside him and talked as his equal.

After discussing their reasons for getting married, their love for each other, their appreciation and admiration of their very close family and friends I was opened to a world of love, respect, fierce loyalty and protection. They had been high school sweet hearts and then had some time apart. It was during this time about seven years ago when they realised that they were meant for each other.

They had been together over ten years and decided now was the time to get married. After this sharing and seeing this groom's diamond in the rough I agreed to be their celebrant. I came to realise that, while he spoke a different language to me, his heart was open and in love with his beautiful fiance and mother of his child.

When it came time to leave, they thanked me and the groom, said he knew he was different and spoke a bit rough but he was very happy I had agreed to marry them.

I received their 'love letters' a few weeks later which I invite all couples to write (and not all of them take the time or interest to do this exercise). I felt honoured to read theirs - they both feel very blessed to have each other and their beautiful little boy.

I am glad I left my judgement by the side and was privileged to participate in their wedding ceremony. They are still doing really well many years later.

Monday, November 23, 2009 I received an email a few weeks ago from a dear friend, Trina, whose precious daughter is getting married. (Amy is now happily married by the time this goes to air) She wrote and asked me for help with her speech for the reception.

Trina wrote, '(Wendy), as you know she is the most gorgeous of blessings and treasures to me I want to speak from the heart about my love and gratefulness for such a gift as a daughter that she is but I don’t want it to be a sobby dribble'.

Sobby Dribble - now there's a new word for the dictionary but it sums up that moment when you cannot help yourself but be overcome with emotion. I have put some tips after Trina's speech for coping with 'sobby dribble' moments!

Reading Trina's words of love and appreciation was heart warming and it didn't take much to create a speech using her ideas. It was all there in her expression of gratitude.

Trina's speech to her daughter.

It is with incredible love, joy and pride that I stand here today to wish my beautiful daughter, a blessed life, full of happiness, joy and much laughter. And if there is any such thing as angels – Amy is one.

Amy is the sunshine to all that know her and truly, as all children are, the most beautiful gift and blessing I have ever been given.

As a little girl Amy was always happy, always finding good, in all creatures and her aura of gentleness was like honey to the bees, attracting everyone to her.

Amy your kindness and generosity, your calmness and strength are inspirational. Your wisdom and maturity are beyond your years. These qualities permeate every aspect of your life. As a mother and as a partner you are a natural mum, giving my beautiful grandchildren a blessed life of love, fun and caring. You really are a mother goddess meant for a tribe of little ones around you and yes I believe a tribe you will have.

Amy you have a beautiful partner in Beau, and I am proud of you both. Beau I value the love, laughter and security that you give to my daughter. Together you both create a wonderful family. I know Amy loves you with all of her heart and that you are her true friend and true love.

You were both so very young when you first met eight years ago. You have weathered some tough storms together and stayed by each others side, and I respect you both for that. We only have to look at Byron and Tia to see how much love, security and ease there is in your family. Your love and respect for each other is reflected in your beautiful children- such exquisite little ones - Byron and Tia – you know how much I love them…to the moon and back!

Amy I know there were times that were not easy for us, I remember the challenges we had in your teens and I know we have talked about this but I want you to know that sometimes as parents we don’t always get it right and that we have many lessons to learn. Children are the greatest gift and we gain so much and learn so much from our children, I am grateful that I have learned a great deal from you my darling daughter. I am delighted with whom you have become and very proud of you, even if at times I did get in your way. All these memories add to the richness of our relationship and the treasured friendship I have with you, which makes me feel incredibly lucky and blessed to have you not only as my daughter but as my very best friend.

And now that you are grown I may not hold your hand each day but I will always hold onto your heart.

Amy and Beau you have Domenic and my support and love for you as a couple, and as a family. May you both be blessed with much happiness, love and laughter and may today’s joy always stay with you. With all our heart we congratulate your commitment you have made to each other today. We love you.

These were the few tips I emailed to Trina for coping with the 'sobby dribble'

Read the speech out aloud a few times. This will familiarise yourself with the content/emotion and also serves to check the grammar. Make the necessary changes to suit your speaking style. Give it time to permeate into your being so when you read it, it becomes a natural part of your expression. (it can also help you to not become too emotional if you have spoken it a few times already) Don't worry if you do cry, stand firm on the ground, smile and know how important this is to be said clearly and publicly. Take your time, breathe well. Smile!

PS 100% guaranteed you will cry at least a little bit so just make sure you have waterproof make up on...

PPS think of me standing strong beside you as you speak (or someone you admire as a public speaker) and know that I will lend you all my strength and calmness - I have often used this technique when delivering a speech. I imagine them standing right next to me! (or you can have someone physically stand beside you if necessary to squeeze your hand and lend you their strength)

PPPS It really is ok if you cry ... then take a big breath... did i mention you have to remember to smile :)

Friday, November 20, 2009
Emma and Andrew had planned their ceremony from London over the last year. I was fortunate enough to to meet with Emma at Heathrow when I was there in July. She came with her son, Gabriel, and we had a chat for over an hour. It was so lovely to chat about her plans and for Emma is was wonderful to feel connected to her celebrant - even across the other side of the planet.

It was hot out in the sun on the beachside lawns so I refrained from inviting guests forward to the ceremonial area until the last minute. Emma's mum came through from the reception area to let me know Emma had arrived however she had to stop and feed her son. I came out and Emma and Gabriel were relaxed and seated. Gabriel had been really clingy all morning so Emma felt relieved that with a feed he would most likely sleep through the ceremony.

Sure enough he settled and grandma took him out to the ceremonial area where I had now gathered the guests. There was an afternoon sea breeze which made the heat more bearable.

The string trio, Heartstrings played Pachabel Canon as Emma and her bridal party walked across the lawns. The ground was covered in beautiful rose petals.

Emma and Andy had been married at the Islington Town Hall in London last year and this ceremony was a celebration of that moment and also of the life they had created together.

As part of their ceremony they had wanted to honour the relationship with a small ritual using three family crystal glasses. One filled with water, one with red wine and one with champagne.

As they each took a sip from each of the glasses I said the following blessing:

Drinking from the one filled with water:
May this water represent your health and vitality flowing strongly for many years
Drinking from the glass filled with red wine:
May this wine represent abundant food and comfort in your home.
Drinking from the champagne flute:
May this champagne represent good times and prosperity always.

Their personal vows were heartfelt and Emma was delighted that she didn't break down and cry as she had at the rehearsal. Their wedding rings were exchanged again, and I invited their family and friends to congratulate them both and honour them as husband and wife with a round of applause.

Congratulations Emma and Andy!

For great ideas to celebrate a renewal of vows ceremony read more here.

Saturday, November 07, 2009
Sarah used to go to school with my eldest daughter, so I was thrilled when she called me to ask if I would be their celebrant for her wedding to Chris.

I posted my book, Create Your Own Inspiring Wedding Ceremony, to them which they took away on their holiday together. We had a few emails and phone calls to finalise their ceremony and then it was all ready to go.

They had planned their wedding out at the beautiful property twenty minutes inland from Coffs Harbour - Friday Creek Retreat. I have done many weddings out there on the beautiful island and under the Casuarina trees. The back up plan for bad weather was in the large marquee which they were setting up... but no one would have thought we were in for another flooding. The bridge went under on Thursday with all of their decorations and set up materials in the marquee on the other side of a raging river. There was no end in sight to the rain, and the ground underfoot was soggy as soggy could be! Even if the rain stopped now the guests would be up to their knees in mud.

I called Sarah and we discussed back up option number 2... I gave her some local venues that I thought would help out and be happy to have them bring their own drinks and caterers which they had already paid for.

The Cavanbah Hall is relatively new on the market here in Coffs Harbour and it was perfect. It also happened to be the one weekend that they had free - they felt so relieved, but the stress was far from over. The set up now had to be done on Saturday morning... Chris and the guys bore most of this responsibility which meant a lot of running about organising new decorations ... fortunately they were able to retrieve some of their things - Sarah had handmade beautiful large boards with quotes on them. (Large canvases and decal attached) They added a very special touch.

Also, in the ladies she had placed a whole basket of new soft slip on shoes in different sizes with a great little ditty about 'ladies if you want to dance the night away but your high shoes are hurting ... please take a pair'. There was also a basket of small beauty products, medicines, personal items that were also there for the ladies in need! 

On a luscious looking table near the wedding cake were beautiful jars of lollies and sweet treats that looked stunning. They certainly had some lovely touches for their guests.

The room at the back of the hall reminds me of a sweet little chapel. The big windows opened with a view of the creek behind us - it wasn't Friday Creek, but it was dry, clean, and had a view of the trees and grass.  (On Friday night we had another big storm and the flood waters had indeed come one metre up the outside of the building. Fortunately the floor is raised higher than that so they didn't get flooded inside! I couldn't imagine how they would have coped with losing their second venue!)

Chris and Sarah exchanged their vows in front of their sixty guests and were happy to pronounced husband and wife. As they walked down the aisle guests blew bubbles up in to the air which floated down around them. They walked out onto the deck which was now being bathed in sun as it broke through the clouds, and their family and friends came forward to congratulate them.


Congratulations Chris and Sarah!

I was also able to catch up with their friends, Yarren and Erin, who I had married up at Cloud's End in October last year. They too, had similar weather concerns however they were on the top of the hill at their parent's property so it stayed pretty dry. The sun just shone down on them with storm clouds all around while they got married outside... then it rained! October and November are classic months in Coffs Harbour for stormy afternoons.

Sunday, October 11, 2009 WEDDING MEMORIES FROM MY EARLY DAYS

The wedding was to be held in the 'India Garden' of the Botanic Garden. The furthermost point from the entrance of the garden...

It was November, the month of the afternoon thunderstorms for the Coffs Coast. The clouds were building and the static was in the air. The humidity was high and all was looking good for a great downpour. And yet, the front was still a way off. I advised the couple that it would be wise to stay close to shelter however they were resolute - out the back was where they wanted to go. Armed with umbrellas they were determined to head to the nether region of the park. With my gear in hand I agreed and we made our way to the grassy parkland.

It was beautiful. The colours were rich and mellow, the setting lush and green. We started on time which was a blessing as it meant that I was able to sign the certificates before the first big drops started to descend from the heavens... followed by many other big drops ... within minutes it was tropical season in the garden ... heavy rain from all directions... the bride and groom were placed in the centre of the covered area but everyone on the outskirts got drenched. One of the guys did a runner to get the four wheel drive (there is a ban on them using the roads in the gardens - but I think they saw the challenge in getting the couple out dry - forget the guests!!

The guy in the little 'people mover' was soaked, so was I. I took my lovely Italian shoes off and poured the water out and decided bare foot was a better option at this stage.  My suit was soaked - the umbrella useless given the wild nature of the elements. The romantic life of a celebrant??

One major challenge occurred aside from the rain that taught me a big lesson that I am happy to share here.

In the chaos that ensued I handed the marriage certificate to the matron of honour, who was also the bride's sister. This seemed the only option granted the couple were huddled into the car and whisked away. It was some weeks later that I received a call from the bride asking if she could have another certificate (which cannot be done according to the regulations)

In the few weeks since the wedding day she had fallen out with her sister and now the sister was refusing to hand the certificate over. It was a major legal drama to get it back.

Moral of the story: Always ascertain from the couple who the marriage certificate will go to after the ceremony!

Thursday, October 08, 2009

What happens when you have planned for the perfect day out on the headland and the weather has other ideas!  Well, with Frank and Shay who were married last weekend this is exactly what happened.

Once they got over the initial 'will we go to the headland or won't we' dilemma they were fabulous and just accepted what was happening. They were just so happy to get married it didn't matter. As part of the introduction we had written...

Welcome family and friends, my name is Wendy Haynes and as a registered marriage celebrant it is my pleasure to solemnise the marriage of two best friends, Frank and Shay.  They have gathered us here in this magnificent place, with the surf and beach below, the gentle sea breeze cooling us, and an amazing view to behold. It is a place they both love and which inspires them – inspires them to enjoy life and live each moment to its fullest.

Instead of missing out on the beautiful piece of the ceremony I invited guests to bring forth images of the headland on a fine day: the magnificent long beaches either side, the breeze blowing across their faces, the sound of the waves (I also invited those who hadn't been up there yet to make sure they checked it out - even if they had to go up there with umbrella's as Hungry Headland is truly beautiful). I called forth this images and the beauty of the place and talked of Frank and Shay's love for this area and how it inspires them. It was one of many magic moments on their special day.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Beach weddings at this time of year are such a treat. It's not too hot in the sun and there is a gentle breeze blowing from the north.

I was just cleaning up some files and I found these words that I wrote for a ceremony a few years ago.

The grains of sand under your feet represent the countless moments that have brought you to this place in time: your experiences, your friendships, your family, your journeys. They also represent the many days you will share together.

The ocean represents the endless supply of love that is present and while at times things may get wild and woolly like crashing waves, your love, like the ocean, is always present, and calm will come again.

The changing ebb and flow of the tides represents the inevitable changes within the constancy of your love.
The rocks represent the strength of your individual self that you can both rely upon in times of need.

Let the gentle breeze remind you not to take things too seriously and to let your hair down and laugh often.

The sun represents the warmth and passion of your friendship and love. Let it shine on!
(or if its cloudly/rainy... even though today it is cloudy, your love like the sun will always shine)

There are lots of inspiring ideas in my latest e-book on creating personalised and unique blessings and readings. Read more here.

Hope you have a great day today... I am in spring cleaning mode... clearing up 15 years of wedding files on my computer. Yay!
Cheers, Wendy

Monday, September 28, 2009
In my file clean-up I rediscovered another part of a ceremony that I had written some time back:

Since you first met your friendship has grown from strength to strength. You have shared many wonderful moments and created a fabulous history together. In the planning towards your wedding day and the writing your own vows you have become aware of your intentions and values that give meaning to this ceremony and also to the marriage itself. You have considered the direction you wish to travel and the vision that you wish to sustain.

You both deeply value the honesty, trust and respect that you uphold in your friendship; and your intentions are that you wish the very best for each other; that you will be kind and considerate in the ways in which you communicate; that you will be generous in giving thanks and, if conflict comes, that you will strive to fight fairly; that you will respect each other as the very best of friends; that you will share and care for each other through all that comes - the good times and the challenges; and that you both wish to have a beautiful family and grow old together holding hands for many years to come.

Wendy Haynes

Saturday, September 05, 2009
Bev and Phil had wanted to acknowledge the coming together of their two families. Their children were all grown but they all meant so much to them.

Phil's son, Luke and Bev's son, Anthony were standing with Phil in the chapel, and after the flower girl and page boy had entered the chapel, Luke walked down the aisle and escorted his sister, Kylie, in. Anthony then walked out of the chapel and escorted his sister, Rachel into the chapel. Luke and Kylie then stood beside Phil and Anthony and Rachel stood beside Bev. After the signing the girls stood on one side and then the boys stood on the other so when they walked out they could pair up. I am glad we had the rehearsal as on the day everyone knew exactly where they were placed and what was happening!

They had a candle ceremony after they exchanged vows...

Phil and Bev, the two separate candles represent your two families and your separate lives. They also represent the brightness and warmth of your love that you bring into the relationship. I ask that you take your individual candles and that together you light the centre marriage candle. The individual candles represent your lives before today. The flame from the first candle is not diminished when it lights the marriage candle, so too when your love is shared, it will not diminish your source of love, but the sharing will light up the heart of the other.

Their little grandson, Levi bought the rings forward which was also really sweet.
Many blessings Bev and Phil on your adventure together!