Tuesday, November 24, 2009 Trina sent me this gorgeous picture and wrote... this is my exquisite grandson and son-in-law, Beau. Young Byron is giving his speech and announcing to everyone “that Mummy and Daddy are giving them a baby sister or brother”.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. He wrote his little speech, said it was a very special day and that he and Tia were very happy that Mummy and Daddy were married today. He got up with such ease and confidence. He hassled his dad for ages asking, “can I do my speech now?” Beau said if he only had half of Byron's confidence!
 
What an awesome act of trust and support to encourage Byron's sense of confidence and acceptance. The way we allow our children to explore the world and take part in tasks sends them really clear messages that they are capable. They can then build upon this when they are ready.

Monday, November 23, 2009 I received an email a few weeks ago from a dear friend, Trina, whose precious daughter is getting married. (Amy is now happily married by the time this goes to air) She wrote and asked me for help with her speech for the reception.

Trina wrote, '(Wendy), as you know she is the most gorgeous of blessings and treasures to me I want to speak from the heart about my love and gratefulness for such a gift as a daughter that she is but I don’t want it to be a sobby dribble'.

Sobby Dribble - now there's a new word for the dictionary but it sums up that moment when you cannot help yourself but be overcome with emotion. I have put some tips after Trina's speech for coping with 'sobby dribble' moments!

Reading Trina's words of love and appreciation was heart warming and it didn't take much to create a speech using her ideas. It was all there in her expression of gratitude.

Trina's speech to her daughter.

It is with incredible love, joy and pride that I stand here today to wish my beautiful daughter, a blessed life, full of happiness, joy and much laughter. And if there is any such thing as angels – Amy is one.

Amy is the sunshine to all that know her and truly, as all children are, the most beautiful gift and blessing I have ever been given.

As a little girl Amy was always happy, always finding good, in all creatures and her aura of gentleness was like honey to the bees, attracting everyone to her.

Amy your kindness and generosity, your calmness and strength are inspirational. Your wisdom and maturity are beyond your years. These qualities permeate every aspect of your life. As a mother and as a partner you are a natural mum, giving my beautiful grandchildren a blessed life of love, fun and caring. You really are a mother goddess meant for a tribe of little ones around you and yes I believe a tribe you will have.

Amy you have a beautiful partner in Beau, and I am proud of you both. Beau I value the love, laughter and security that you give to my daughter. Together you both create a wonderful family. I know Amy loves you with all of her heart and that you are her true friend and true love.

You were both so very young when you first met eight years ago. You have weathered some tough storms together and stayed by each others side, and I respect you both for that. We only have to look at Byron and Tia to see how much love, security and ease there is in your family. Your love and respect for each other is reflected in your beautiful children- such exquisite little ones - Byron and Tia – you know how much I love them…to the moon and back!

Amy I know there were times that were not easy for us, I remember the challenges we had in your teens and I know we have talked about this but I want you to know that sometimes as parents we don’t always get it right and that we have many lessons to learn. Children are the greatest gift and we gain so much and learn so much from our children, I am grateful that I have learned a great deal from you my darling daughter. I am delighted with whom you have become and very proud of you, even if at times I did get in your way. All these memories add to the richness of our relationship and the treasured friendship I have with you, which makes me feel incredibly lucky and blessed to have you not only as my daughter but as my very best friend.

And now that you are grown I may not hold your hand each day but I will always hold onto your heart.

Amy and Beau you have Domenic and my support and love for you as a couple, and as a family. May you both be blessed with much happiness, love and laughter and may today’s joy always stay with you. With all our heart we congratulate your commitment you have made to each other today. We love you.

These were the few tips I emailed to Trina for coping with the 'sobby dribble'

Read the speech out aloud a few times. This will familiarise yourself with the content/emotion and also serves to check the grammar. Make the necessary changes to suit your speaking style. Give it time to permeate into your being so when you read it, it becomes a natural part of your expression. (it can also help you to not become too emotional if you have spoken it a few times already) Don't worry if you do cry, stand firm on the ground, smile and know how important this is to be said clearly and publicly. Take your time, breathe well. Smile!

PS 100% guaranteed you will cry at least a little bit so just make sure you have waterproof make up on...

PPS think of me standing strong beside you as you speak (or someone you admire as a public speaker) and know that I will lend you all my strength and calmness - I have often used this technique when delivering a speech. I imagine them standing right next to me! (or you can have someone physically stand beside you if necessary to squeeze your hand and lend you their strength)

PPPS It really is ok if you cry ... then take a big breath... did i mention you have to remember to smile :)

Friday, November 20, 2009
Emma and Andrew had planned their ceremony from London over the last year. I was fortunate enough to to meet with Emma at Heathrow when I was there in July. She came with her son, Gabriel, and we had a chat for over an hour. It was so lovely to chat about her plans and for Emma is was wonderful to feel connected to her celebrant - even across the other side of the planet.

It was hot out in the sun on the beachside lawns so I refrained from inviting guests forward to the ceremonial area until the last minute. Emma's mum came through from the reception area to let me know Emma had arrived however she had to stop and feed her son. I came out and Emma and Gabriel were relaxed and seated. Gabriel had been really clingy all morning so Emma felt relieved that with a feed he would most likely sleep through the ceremony.

Sure enough he settled and grandma took him out to the ceremonial area where I had now gathered the guests. There was an afternoon sea breeze which made the heat more bearable.

The string trio, Heartstrings played Pachabel Canon as Emma and her bridal party walked across the lawns. The ground was covered in beautiful rose petals.

Emma and Andy had been married at the Islington Town Hall in London last year and this ceremony was a celebration of that moment and also of the life they had created together.

As part of their ceremony they had wanted to honour the relationship with a small ritual using three family crystal glasses. One filled with water, one with red wine and one with champagne.

As they each took a sip from each of the glasses I said the following blessing:

Drinking from the one filled with water:
May this water represent your health and vitality flowing strongly for many years
Drinking from the glass filled with red wine:
May this wine represent abundant food and comfort in your home.
Drinking from the champagne flute:
May this champagne represent good times and prosperity always.

Their personal vows were heartfelt and Emma was delighted that she didn't break down and cry as she had at the rehearsal. Their wedding rings were exchanged again, and I invited their family and friends to congratulate them both and honour them as husband and wife with a round of applause.

Congratulations Emma and Andy!

For great ideas to celebrate a renewal of vows ceremony read more here.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Beach weddings at this time of year are such a treat. It's not too hot in the sun and there is a gentle breeze blowing from the north.

I was just cleaning up some files and I found these words that I wrote for a ceremony a few years ago.

The grains of sand under your feet represent the countless moments that have brought you to this place in time: your experiences, your friendships, your family, your journeys. They also represent the many days you will share together.

The ocean represents the endless supply of love that is present and while at times things may get wild and woolly like crashing waves, your love, like the ocean, is always present, and calm will come again.

The changing ebb and flow of the tides represents the inevitable changes within the constancy of your love.
The rocks represent the strength of your individual self that you can both rely upon in times of need.

Let the gentle breeze remind you not to take things too seriously and to let your hair down and laugh often.

The sun represents the warmth and passion of your friendship and love. Let it shine on!
(or if its cloudly/rainy... even though today it is cloudy, your love like the sun will always shine)

There are lots of inspiring ideas in my latest e-book on creating personalised and unique blessings and readings. Read more here.

Hope you have a great day today... I am in spring cleaning mode... clearing up 15 years of wedding files on my computer. Yay!
Cheers, Wendy

Saturday, September 05, 2009
Bev and Phil had wanted to acknowledge the coming together of their two families. Their children were all grown but they all meant so much to them.

Phil's son, Luke and Bev's son, Anthony were standing with Phil in the chapel, and after the flower girl and page boy had entered the chapel, Luke walked down the aisle and escorted his sister, Kylie, in. Anthony then walked out of the chapel and escorted his sister, Rachel into the chapel. Luke and Kylie then stood beside Phil and Anthony and Rachel stood beside Bev. After the signing the girls stood on one side and then the boys stood on the other so when they walked out they could pair up. I am glad we had the rehearsal as on the day everyone knew exactly where they were placed and what was happening!

They had a candle ceremony after they exchanged vows...

Phil and Bev, the two separate candles represent your two families and your separate lives. They also represent the brightness and warmth of your love that you bring into the relationship. I ask that you take your individual candles and that together you light the centre marriage candle. The individual candles represent your lives before today. The flame from the first candle is not diminished when it lights the marriage candle, so too when your love is shared, it will not diminish your source of love, but the sharing will light up the heart of the other.

Their little grandson, Levi bought the rings forward which was also really sweet.
Many blessings Bev and Phil on your adventure together!

Monday, July 27, 2009 Traditionally the quaich, (pronounced quake) was used as a cup of welcome or farewell in the Scottish Highlands. It was used to drink brandy or whisky. In more recent times it makes a popular present for a wedding or anniversary, christening or birthday celebration. I have seen a few of these in my time as a celebrant in Australia and performed a ceremony similar to the 'wine ceremony'.

I was driving through the beautiful village of Edzell, Scotland, when I came across a 'car boot' sale. I had been searching for two quaichs to give as a gift to two of my celebrant friends back home. I found two magnificent ones!

My book, Create your own inspiring wedding ceremony, has a lovely example of a wine ceremony.

We are off to the Midlands in England tomorrow so my time here in Scotland is coming to a close. It is a magnificent country, and the people have been delightfully friendly, even it at times I cannot understand the thick accent. I love it!
So from this wee young lassie, it is goodnight!

Thursday, June 18, 2009
Roger and I watched a beautiful program yesterday on the effect of music on people. It was a insightful look through the eyes of the Philadelphia Philharmonic Orchestra and their world tour. In one part of the program they were working with beautiful Chinese bells that when played captured my attention and lifted my spirits. They were delicate and yet commanding. It reminded me of a stunning ceremony I conducted down by the banks of the Never Never River at the Promised Lands in the Bellinger Valley.

The groom and his friends were down at the river preparing the ceremony site with me and when they were ready they sat down to play their drums (gembe's).  Just a few loud sharp beats in a particular pattern. This was to signify that we were ready and waiting. From up at the main house where the guests were waiting a response came from drummers up there - the same rhythm was played. The men at the river returned this message to say 'welcome'. When the guests were all assembled and settled (after being helped across the creek over a small bridge) we knew the bride would not be far away.

The groom picked up his flute and played a sweet call. She responded on her flute, once again with the same notes. I get goosebumps just recalling this. In the silence of the forest the sound of the two flutes calling and responding created a sacred space of a special meeting about to unfold. They played to each other for a while until the forest became silent once again and she walked down the track into the ceremonial space.

Music is a powerful tool at any ceremony whether it is live music or prerecorded. Many times it will stir within us deep emotions and touches us at levels that we cannot begin to fathom. Here's to many more sacred moments using music to guide the way.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009 Sarah asked if six of her closest girl friends would bake a batch of vanilla cup cakes as a wedding present for her and her fiance. They bought the tier plates and set the cups cake on the tiers as the 'wedding cake'. She gave them all the same recipe and then asked them to make special toppings. The result was beautiful, personal and very simple... and delicious!


What a great wedding gift!

Photo by Naomi Clarkson Photography

Friday, May 01, 2009 It is always difficult if someone has died in the family, and even more so, when it is just days, weeks or even months before a wedding ceremony. Talk with your celebrant about whether you would like to mention the person who has died and also with the rest of the family. It is important so that no-one gets a real shock when they hear the deceased's name. You may wish to say something very simple like "On this special day we would like to take a moment to think of the family and friends who are not here to celebrate this marriage. We also remember with love those who have gone before. You know they would have been very proud to see you share this commitment of marriage today, and that their love is present here with you."

If it is someone really close like a parent or grandparent, then maybe there is a lovely quote they may have used, or offered some advise, or you can just close the above paragraph by saying how much they would have enjoyed this celebration and that they would want the bride and groom to really enjoy the party!

Alison's father had died just six months before their wedding. I had chatted with Alison about her dad and she shared a few stories about times the three of them had been together. This is what we said at their wedding ceremony:

"There is a note of sadness today. As most of you know, Alison's father, Russell, died six months ago. He was delighted at the news of Michael and Alison's marriage. Michael and Alison would like to take this moment to think of him.

Last Christmas when you were all together, he gave you some valuable advice - he shared the importance of allowing time for each other now, and in the years to come. He said, 'nurture your friendship and express your love and care for each other every day'. Russell's love and wisdom is with us here as we celebrate today."

I have had other couples light candles in remembrance, place special items on the signing table, or wear something special that belonged to the deceased. One bride had a very large framed photograph of her dad in the front row! There are many ways to remember those important people in our lives who cannot be with us in person.

Friday, May 01, 2009 Standing on the headland looking over the sandy beach, watching the waves rolling in, I smiled as I saw the men in the bridal party preparing the love heart for the bride and groom to stand in for the wedding ceremony. They carefully selected the rocks, for the right size and shape and placed them in a heart shape, creating a sacred space together.

Just before the bride walked down the aisle the two mum's scattered rose petals inside the circle. I had spoken with them prior to the ceremony and invited them to think of what it is like to be on this journey of marriage, of close partnership, the ups and the downs... I encouraged them to think of a blessing for their son and daughter as they scattered the petals in the love hearts. It was a lovely quiet moment we shared before the ceremony started.

There are many ways we can invite the sacred moments in to the ceremony.

On Sunday, the bride and groom I am marrying, are having a candle ceremony where the two mother's will light the single taper at the beginning of the ceremony and then after the vows have been exchanged the bride and groom will light the marriage candle using the tapers. The mum's have thought about the following prompts I gave them: What do they love about their son/daughter? What do they appreciate about the relationship they witness? What do they see as the strengths in the relationship? And lastly, what they would wish for them? Using these ideas the mum's have crafted a beautiful blessing that each will say as they light the individual tapers. The mums have just emailed me their blessings and it will be a very special moment.