Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Since we are staying in the Derbyshire Dales for a period of six months in total Roger and I have signed up for the local library. I derive such pleasure going into a large room piled high with books of all sorts.

Shelves of books on any topic … I flick through books on painting, felting, women artists, English gardens and browse through the fiction section. I get so excited, that now at last, just maybe I will have time to sit back and read a novel. I have one with me that I started in Canada but haven’t had a moment to continue with… all the visiting, travelling and day walks hasn’t left a lot of time to sit back, relax and read a good book. I have to change that! The days are so glorious for walking that it is hard to stay indoors – the cold and invigorating atmosphere make it a joy to walk and breathe in the fresh air and come home with red rosy cheeks.

One of the library books I borrowed is called ‘Bess of Hardwick’ a history of the first Lady of Chatsworth, a biography by Mary S Lovell. A fascinating book that is one of the few accounts of a tenacious and accomplished woman in Tudor times. Bess was born in 1527 when England was experiencing major political upheaval, plagues would wipe out whole families, conspiracies and feuds were common place. Despite her difficult start to life she would become England’s second most powerful and richest woman, after Queen Elizabeth 1.

The book is filled with factual accounts of the time and many fascinating snippets of life from 1527 until she died over eighty years later. I include here some information on the christening of a child:

“Bess would have been baptized on the very first Sunday or Holy Day following her birth… after being ‘crossed’ with sacred oil on the shoulders and chest, and the sign of the cross made in her right hand, she would have been named and received into the church, the baby was considered safe from the devil and all his works.”

Considering that over 50% of children died within the first year of their life this ceremony was considered very important.

Mothers who had just given birth were not allowed to leave their bed for a month after the delivery so the child’s godparents: two women and a man took the child to Church for the ceremony. After the service there was always a reception held at the home. “Even in the poorest homes money was somehow found for this celebration…”

“On arrival at the parents’ house the principal guests and godparents went first to the lying-in chamber to congratulate and honour the mother, gifts and blessings were bestowed upon the child, and then all the women – family, friends and neighbours – would crowd into the lying in chamber to gossip and enjoy the occasion. This custom was called ‘a Gossiping’, and in a popular catchphrase of the day a person was said to be ‘as drunk as women at a gossiping”

Godparenting in early Christian times was a serious and privileged role to play in the spiritual guidance of the child. Over the years this duty has fallen by the way side with many people having had godparents who they have never met. The role of a godparent, mentor or guardian can be such an enriching role for a child and I have written up lots of great ideas and included many stories and examples on how this can be so for young babies, children and teenagers in this book.

I am a godparent/mentor to many young people and the role is so rewarding. I know they love having someone they can turn to other than mum or dad.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010 Well, here we are in a quaint little cottage in Monyash, a double story brick building that dates back a few hundred years. The front door opens and you almost trip up the stairs which leads to the two bedrooms which are big enough to do a little bit of yoga in ? I touch the ceiling when I reach overhead.

Downstairs in the lounge there are scenes of the countryside in watercolours on every wall matched with a few small plates that come from a different era. The brass ornaments stand out on the bright red carpet which swirls with designs. The electric heater poses as a coal fire and invites me to rub my hands in front of it.

I love being here, it is our home for two months, and again for a month in April, and we will come here in September and October. After moving around for the last seven weeks it is great to have a base that is snug and quiet.

Yesterday we bought a campervan to further our travels around the area come March and then in Europe come June through to August. It is a sturdy Toyota Hiace with a pop up roof. Just right for Roger and Wendy to have an adventure.

We did buy a little Peugeot in London which has been fabulous for getting us around (we will now sell this when we stock our van) It runs really well on these small and winding roads (which all lead to Bakewell (our nearest little town).

It has been an interesting time, this life on the road, and we are both in need of replenishing the batteries. A few good nights sleep will see us right.

We had a lovely time in Bristol with Jess and Julian and our granddaughter's Isabel and Rosa. Rosa adored Roger following him around with a book to read wherever he went. Isabel and I had fun in the kitchen baking a cake.

On Sunday we celebrated Rosa's naming day at Ashton Court. There were plans to head down to Dorset, where Julian's family own a field that has a long history of cider making. They had planted trees on it for Isabel?s naming day a few years ago. However, with the cold snap that has hit the UK the nursery called saying that they couldn?t dig the fruit trees out for us to plant. With this, and the concern that it would be too dangerous for us to drive down with the ice and snow on the road, and the fact that they had seven young children (including a seven week old) baby that they didn't want standing around in a freezing cold paddock, they opted to stay in Bristol and plan a different ceremony.

I loved watching the ceremony unfold organically given the situation they found themselves in. I suggested that we plant a branch as a symbol of the fruit trees that would now be planted in a months time. I thought it would then be lovely to paint some paper apples and pears to hang on the tree with blessings for Rosa written on them. Isabel, Jess and I had great fun making these.

On the day there were ten adults and seven children present. It was a clear blue sky with a fresh breeze blowing (given the weather in the past few days this was fabulous!) We found a little shrub that passed as our symbolic apple tree and gathered around. Julian welcomed and thanked everyone especially the three godparents. The children then ate the three apples that we bought while Jess read out a summary of Rosa's birth story which brought tears to her eyes. It was lovely to hear her story and remember the joy and gratitude they felt for her safe arrival and the beginning of their family as four.

The apple cores were given to each of the godparents and they planted the apple core and seeds while speaking a blessing to Rosa. It was lovely.

To close we finished with an old wassailing tradition which is a old Christian/pagan ritual to enhance the fertility of the orchards and offer blessings for the year to come. Old cider was poured around our tree and then everyone was then given an 'apple' to hang on the tree and the opportunity to add their blessing. It was fun especially for the children. To close the children were given musical instruments to play: shakers to rattle and whistles to blow. It made everyone laugh and it was only later that I wondered what the people down the hill must have thought of us!

We headed down to Bristol Harbour to the Grain Barge, a floating restaurant for lunch, were the fun continued.

It was a lovely week with Jess and her family and we will see them again soon. The next five weeks Roger will be spending time with his two sons in the Derby area.

Today Roger and I had fun walking around the Chatsworth area. Rolling hills and duck ponds, the river Wye and Derwent tumbling past. The crisp air is refreshing and gives our cheeks a healthy glow. A hot bath at night in the cottage tops off the day.

I am not settled for long as I head up to the Dru Yoga International Centre in Wales tomorrow to volunteer my time and catch up with a few friends from Australia. I am then off to Devon at the end of next week for a two week silent retreat in a Buddhist Centre, Gaia House. I am looking forward to that time to reflect upon stillness and in return for being there I will work in the mornings which I am more than happy to offer service.

Friday, November 20, 2009
Hudson was born on the 31st October 2007 and little Finn was born on the 19th September 2009. Two gorgeous little boys for Laura and Jamie.

The boys have kept them really busy and they are so happy and grateful to have their precious sons in their lives. The naming ceremony for the two boys was held at the beautiful Aanuka Chapel at 9am this morning - Sunday 22nd November 2009. We arrived at 8.30am and it was already warm and humid but inside the chapel the temperature was lovely. The candles had been lit and the sun was coming through the back window.

Little Finn decided that the ceremony was a great time to wriggle, squirm and cry... but it wasn't long before Jamie rocked him off to sleep. Hudson was running around and wanted to play. Nevertheless, even with all the distractions, it was a lovely ceremony.

Laura lit a candle in honour of her mum, 'angel nanna' which symbolised her love in their family life. They also honoured Jamie's dad who could not be present. Jade and Luke were the boys godparents and they love the boys!

I read the 'Child learns what they live' poem written by Dorothy Law Nolte which is always a great one to read out at naming day ceremonies. The parents and godparents formally naming Hudson and Finn, everyone gave the boys a round of applause... we then had bubble blowing which made Hudson very happy and signed the certificates.


Alison and Chester were present as were Sophie, Brad, Harrison, Harvey and little Eva.I have conducted a few ceremonies for these two beautiful families so it was lovely to see them ... and to meet Eva (3 months old) and see how much the boys had grown.

Saturday, November 07, 2009
I have enjoyed working with Sharon and Ben over the last few months. Sharon read my book 'How to Create an Inspiring Naming Ceremony' and filled out many of the answers. It gave me great material to work with to create their son Ty's naming ceremony. They have five beautiful children... Connor, Liam, Riley and Quinn from Sharon's first family are absolutely delightful. They all love Ty!

After all the flooding on Friday I was uncertain what condition Boambee Reserve would be in so I gave Sharon a call early in the morning to check. She said that Ben had been down there and the shelter was still standing. They made the decision to meet down there and see how it unfolded. I arrived early and while the ground was a bit soggy and the kids couldn't go swimming in the mud filled swollen creek it was nice to be outside as a little bit of sun broke through the clouds.

Debbie (Sharon's sister in law) and Karen were there with their children. I married Debbie and Dean nearly eight years ago, and have named their three beautiful children, Chloe, Karli and Jack. I have since done other namings and ceremonies for their extended family so it is always a pleasure to meet with them again. I conducted (Karen's daughter) Mia's,  naming ceremony combined with her second birthday four years ago!


We had to wait a while as some friends were coming from afar and got caught in the flooding but I was in no hurry so I enjoyed catching up with Debbie and Karen, and meeting with Ben and Sharon's family. The parents of the many children who attended had a bit of a challenge keeping the children out of the water. There was always someone on lookout which is so important at family gatherings. Fortunately the kids all moved over to the playground away from the water.

Friday, November 06, 2009
Rose called me to discuss the possibility of having  a naming ceremony. She had changed her legal name from Joanna to Rose with the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriage and received a change of name certificate. Rose wanted to celebrate this new phase of her life with a ceremony. I was excited and we talked about the things she could do. She knew that it would involve planting a rose garden which she had already prepared but the actual wording or ritual she wasn't sure of.

Today she invited twelve of her closest friends for lunch and we gathered at her home. She had a beautiful photograph of a rose that she had taken, framed and hung on the wall behind where she sat. I welcomed the friends and thanked them for coming. Rose then talked about how she came to choose the name, Rose, and what it represented for her.

I then passed a rose stem to each of her friends and asked them to think of the qualities that we loved and appreciated Rose. We then each spoke as the rose was placed on her lap.

It was simple but very beautiful. There was lots of laughter and a few tears... and I have just come back from a sumptuous lunch.

Thursday, November 05, 2009
Sunday morning 1st November 2009

Amelia's naming day was held at the popular Boambee Creek Reserve. I have conducted many naming ceremonies down here by the estuary as it is shaded, close to the beach and has great facilities for preparing and serving food. The shelters can be booked for a small fee so you can be sure you will have the space.

Chris and Julie arrived with Chris's mum and dad, and their neighbours, Emma and Bob. It was to be a small gathering as Julie's parents and also the godparents couldn't make it. They had already changed the date once and didn't want to do so again, particularly because I was leaving soon and ... Julie is expecting her second child in January.

Julie and I wrote a beautiful ceremony based upon their life with young Amelia, who is a very sweet angel of a child. While it was a longer ceremony the six guests were seated including Amelia and her little friend, Arla (Bob and Emma's daughter). I stood to one side of the picnic chairs and was able to look at everyone easily. Everyone was captivated and enjoyed the message of sharing love and friendship, and of course the blessings for Amelia.

It was one of the most personal ceremonies I have conducted for a child because of the size of the party. While I spoke mostly from my ceremony sheet I was able to personalise it a lot more because of the nature of the gathering. We had all just been speaking about parenting, pregnancy (Emma is expecting her second child soon as well) lack of sleep, the joys, the challenges and the other family members etc so I was able to link back to some of these topics as well. Amelia and Arla were very happy. At the close we signed the certificates and then I brought out my secret supply of bubbles which are always a great hit with small children (and some big people too!).Congratulations Julie and Chris and Amelia!

Thursday, November 05, 2009
Sunday afternoon 1st November 2009

When I get to meet with families I have worked with before it is a special treat. I married Kellie and Ryan nearly five years again, and named their first daughter, Phoebe, last year. Little Blake was welcomed into the world on the 15th August 2009.

When Kellie heard I was going away she rang up to book me in for Blake's naming ceremony before I left. What an honour it is to be the family celebrant. I loved meeting with Kellie's mum, Pam and Ryan's parent's Jim and Jill. They have always written beautiful readings for their grandchildren's naming days which always brings a tear or two.

Sunday afternoon was perfect - warm and dry - so the ceremony was held in their backyard where we had stood for Phoebe's naming day. Phoebe, however was now running around, her little crop of red hair bright and curly. It was different in that there were a few children this time running around, were as last time they were all babies. There were also a few more pregnant mums!

Kellie had created a beautiful collage of photographs and a wall hanging with Blake's name on it. There was also a few pages ready for guests to write blessings on that Kellie would scrapbook later.

I started with a warm welcome and then spoke about the joys, the challenges and the responsibilities of being a parent, especially now there are two. We honoured the importance of everyone's role in the life of children in our community.

I affirmed the relationship and respect between Kellie and Ryan, and the love that was flowing between them was palpable. What a wonderful legacy to their children. I honour them both.

Seve and Andrea (whose baby is due this week) came forward as the godparents and accepted the role. Little Blake slept the whole time. I always say, that while the child may be sleeping or too young to remember a naming ceremony, they will know that we took the time to honour them, and it will impact upon them in some way. Quite often they will read the ceremony when they are older or watch the video and see the importance of the occasion. It is such a special time.

Kellie and Ryan planted another tree in the garden in honour of Blake. Phoebe's tree was growing really well!



We finished with the Happy Day Recipe

Begin with a smile
Mix in some laughter
Add a dash of wisdom
Stir in plenty of hugs
Blend with inspiration
Combine with joy and
Top off the day with
A generous sprinkling Of love!

Saturday, October 10, 2009
El and Dave are a beautiful couple whose wedding I conducted six years ago and their daughter, Maia's naming ceremony four years ago. We had a great reunion to discuss their son, Riley's, naming ceremony. They have been through some pretty serious challenges and my heart melted in their presence as they shared them with me - their courage and strength shining out.

I bow down to families and to parents. Every minute is so full - full of survival: food, clothing, basic needs, and then the emotional needs of every member needs to be considered, and all the while... the heart and the sense of well being, happiness and peace is calling...

So much to do and so many demands. I bow down with great reverence for the role parents play. I am deeply grateful that I have been a mum and that my children are now grown. They have bought me so much joy and there were many times when I didn't think I would make it - when tears would be rolling down my cheeks and I would plead to the powers that be for help and guidance.  Now they are grown it is a distant memory but it has shaped me into who I am.

I have great compassion for those parents whose children don't sleep, whose children are not well... may they call upon a deep inner reserve to uphold them.

Back to Dave and El's ceremony... they invited Ruth, El's sister, and her husband Nigel, who had eight month old Tristan, if they wanted to share the day with them. They agreed so the celebration became Riley and Tristan's naming day.

It was lovely. I interviewed both families and with their answers created one overall ceremony and then had two sections where it focused on Riley's family and then Tristan's family. It worked really well.

El's brother, Tim, shared two readings from the Bible:

Proverbs 1:10-15

Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many. I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. Hold on to instruction, do not let it go, guard it well, for it is your life. May you always live it in your very own way.

 Proverbs 4:20-26

My child, pay attention to what I say: listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight; keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a person’s whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.

Dave's sister in law, Annie, read a beautiful children's book, Ten Little Fingers, Ten Little Toes, by Mem Fox which had all the children enthralled... the adults looked really interested too!

Pete and Michael were named as the godparents for Riley, and Wendy and Sandy were Tristan's godparents.

Pete got up and said a few words - in particular he clarified the 'contract' with El and Dave and I cannot remember the exact wording but there were four essential points ...'and your son will have to be a Parramatta Eels supporter', 'if you win the lottery you must share it with your godfather'. The way he worded it was very funny and made everyone laugh.

The ceremony was a blend of humour and deep gratitude, of blessing and affirmation and of course, one of celebration and honouring.

Congratulations to the Coulter and Johnson families for having such a beautiful celebration!

Young Riley Johnson!