Everyday simple rituals…make magic happen in those precious moments in between the chores and must do activities of the day.
A lot of people say that just don’t have enough time. Well, these few simple rituals can bring an enormous amount of joy into your life. Whether you are single, a couple or a family, these take very little time, and yet can bring a sense of peace and happiness into daily living.
When you wake in the morning, before you move, before you open your eyes, just take a moment, to acknowledge the space you are in. Warm, safe, clean.
Hopefully your body is fully relaxed and comfortable. If not, move it so it is. Spend five minutes with your full attention on your body and breathing. Notice how your body feels – is it refreshed, achy, ready to bounce out of bed… just be a witness to what is present.
Feel the stillness that is present when you bring your awareness to your breathing. Be aware of the quietness that surrounds you, the freshness of a new morning. (That is granted the children aren’t calling out to you or jumping on the bed!).
If there are sounds around you, be aware of them, yet don’t become involved. Keep your focus on your relaxed body and your breathing. Just five minutes, don’t start the brain thinking just yet, hold those thoughts of the day, things to do. Get in the practice of taking this time for yourself, it’s only five minutes
Then when you have spent five minutes within the stillness, take another moment to welcome in your day. Say a prayer, quote or verse that lifts your spirits. One that inspires you, repeat it, and then stretch, stretch like a cat.
Now, if you have a bed mate. Cuddle, give each other a hug before getting out of bed. Say good morning! If your partner mustn’t be disturbed, send it to them via your thoughts. Quietly acknowledge to yourself their presence in your life, what you love about them and wish them good morning.
Spend five minutes upon waking, to become present: awareness of your body, breathing and the silence.
Welcome the day.
Say good morning to your friend!
Take a moment to stop and give thanks for the food that you are eating. You may do it silently or out loud with grace or a blessing. It can be as simple as ‘Blessings on the food’ or it may be a verse or prayer. Once you have developed this habit with your family, it encourages people at the table to wait until everyone is seated before eating, and also encourages gratitude for the abundance we receive. As a family we also hold hands to bless the food. If your family feel uncomfortable with this, do it quietly for yourself, ask to do it on special occasions for just a moment.
My son attended a Steiner School and this one was of the blessings they would say before eating when they were little.
"Blessings on the blossom,
Blessings on the root,
Blessings on the leaf and stem,
Blessings on the fruit."
I have also discovered that taking this time before eating also encourages me to stop and relax before I eat. It gives me the time to become present with the beautiful food, the people around me and the abundance in my life. It is a simple and effective way to develop the art of gratitude.
It’s time for bed. Develop a ritual that nurtures and nourishes your soul and your family.
Make a point of having some time together in the evenings when the TV is off. This can take a bit of getting used to, if your family has relied on the TV for entertainment however the gifts in the long run are invaluable.
If you are on your own…
Allow yourself some time before going to bed where it is quiet or you have soft relaxing music playing. Make yourself a warm drink, maybe have a warm bath with aromatic oils, or curl up in bed and read a chapter from a book.
Then as you lay in bed and just before you go to sleep, stop and take a moment to relax and let go of the day. Let your mind wander over the day, and give thanks for all that you have learnt, experienced, received and given. Give thanks for another day of living. Repeat the morning exercise of bringing your awareness to your body and breathing and the silence within… If there are outside noises, be aware of them, but do not become involved. Bring your awareness back to your body and your breathing. Rest in the silence. Make this a conscious part of your saying good bye to the day.
Sleep well!
If you have children…
Bed time can be a pleasure or it can be a drama. Developing a bed time ritual can be a blessing for families. If you don’t already have an evening routine, take it step by step. Small changes over the weeks can bring about a whole new way of going to bed.
For young children a nightly ritual of reading a story brings you together in a quiet setting and then maybe a gentle back rub after you have finished. I would then sing until they were fast asleep. (And no, I wasn’t a singer, however I did notice that my children didn’t mind if I was in key, and over the years my voice actually developed – which was a bonus for me I hadn’t counted on). It might take you half an hour if you have a couple of children to go around. It was something I did for years and really enjoyed. Sure there were a few nights I wondered why I was doing it, but now in retrospect, I am so glad I did it. My children would always look forward to their story. I set aside at least an hour each evening for my three children for this going to bed ritual. You may choose to do this one or two nights a week, and on the other nights it might be just a quick shared story before bed.
There are many things that you can do as a family to bring the day to a close. You may start a book of drawings - a special one that is kept aside for bedtime drawings.
Gather them around the table with colour pencils or pens. Draw a circle on the page (you can use a large dinner plate), and let them draw whatever they wish. It might be scribble or it might be more detailed. You may all draw in the same circle and the artwork may join together, or it may not. This is about fun, not about creating masterpieces, so relax and just enjoy. If you have different aged children, and sharing the page is not harmonious you might have different books. Set aside five minutes or half an hour. It’s good to define a space and time for it, and give the children a minute or so warning when it’s getting close to pack up time. You can do this whilst having a good night drink together.
Massage is a wonderful gift for children. Even as they get older and into their teens, they still love to have their feet rubbed or hands massaged. Often in this time they may share with you things that are happening in their lives… or not. Even if you give them a massage in silence, it is time together. Do not expect anything in return, it is a quiet time of giving and just being present with your child. You may wish to do this for five minutes or half an hour. Be careful not to tickle or hurt. This is supposed to be relaxing and non-threatening. Let this be their time. Once again you may choose to do a little massage every night or start giving a foot rub say on ‘Monday night’ or whatever suits.
As a couple…
Take time to just be together, hold hands, catch up on the day. Whether its five minutes or an hour! Remember this person is your best friend. You both deserve to take time out. Read a fiction story to one another – a chapter at a time. Take turns to swap a short massage before bed. Share a bath together. Have a relaxing warm drink together. Take time to be together.
It is the small ways that we take time out for ourselves or our family, that make big differences in our lives. Time out for caring and just being together.
These are some very simple rituals that can bring you peace and bring your family closer together.
Love,
Having conducted over 1,000 ceremonies, Wendy put her experiences into writing and is the author of 7 popular "do it yourself" books.
wendy's book store
Comment