On the Death of the Beloved

Death and grief can touch us in many different ways. We can feel an openhearted, acceptance of the death of a loved one and then, without any warning, a song, a smell, a memory and we can be crying and aching to the core of our bones.

Mourning the loss of a dear friend or family member can stir our deepest longings for connection, understanding and ‘to be held’.

Grief and Presence

My all time favourite poet and inspiration on matters of the heart and leaning into presence and grace is John O’Donohue.

On the Death of the Beloved

Though we need to weep your loss,
You dwell in that safe place in our hearts,
Where no storm or night or pain can reach you.

Your love was like the dawn
Brightening over our lives
Awakening beneath the dark
A further adventure of colour.

The sound of your voice
Found for us
A new music
That brightened everything.

Whatever you enfolded in your gaze
Quickened in the joy of its being;
You placed smiles like flowers
On the altar of the heart.
Your mind always sparkled
With wonder at things.

Though your days here were brief,
Your spirit was live, awake, complete.

We look towards each other no longer
From the old distance of our names;
Now you dwell inside the rhythm of breath,
As close to us as we are to ourselves.

Though we cannot see you with outward eyes,
We know our soul’s gaze is upon your face,
Smiling back at us from within everything
To which we bring our best refinement.

Let us not look for you only in memory,
Where we would grow lonely without you.
You would want us to find you in presence,
Beside us when beauty brightens,
When kindness glows
And music echoes eternal tones.

When orchids brighten the earth,
Darkest winter has turned to spring;
May this dark grief flower with hope
In every heart that loves you.

May you continue to inspire us:

To enter each day with a generous heart.
To serve the call of courage and love
Until we see your beautiful face again
In that land where there is no more separation,
Where all tears will be wiped from our mind,
And where we will never lose you again.

Join me in Celebrating This Precious Life – Community Conversations about Death and Dying, once a month, free to join and connect with other dear friends. Click here for more information.

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