The body is doing well. I still ache however today I stopped the pain meds and there is ease. I am in a quiet place and feel blessed to have the resources to rest. There are four nice scars, healing on the points where the surgeon entered to do truly miraculous work. Prior to the surgery, I had been joking with a friend that I draw on my abdomen an arrow pointing to the belly button with the words. Enter Here. She is also having surgery this week and she sent me a picture of her directional prompts on her abdomen for the surgeon which also made me laugh. Shared humour is a great medicine in this time of emotional and physical fragility. It reminds me of my resourcefulness, resilience and strength and the importance to the connection of others. To you.
Last night I was aimlessly wandering down bunny holes again with strange dreams, vivid imagery and storylines that both engaged and frightened me. Stories of suffering, of myself and others being lost and confused. Coming to the surface momentarily only to disappear down another bunny hole. I think this state must be enhanced by the pain meds.
Somehow, through practice? through familiarity? I sense into the witness, the awareness and finally enter, with relief, into sleep. The mind can be a weird place to hang out for too long when lost in thoughts and dreams. I am deeply grateful for the mindfulness and self empathy practices that bring me home, time and time again.