Sacred Space
There’s a space we can lean into when it feels like there’s no space at all. The space of the breath. Of feeling the ground beneath our feet. The space of holding ourself close.
It might be easy to find ‘the sacred space’ as you sit here and read this. It might be a challenge when you are triggered by a word, action or feeling. I have found it essential to have a practice that connects me with the mindful presence, the still awareness, the sacred space in times when it is more relaxed and safe… and then when I feel triggered, that mindful space is never far away.
You might want to listen to this short ten minute meditation here.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Attributed to Viktor E Frankl
Here are a few ways we can support and teach ourselves to take the space, to self regulate before we do or say anything we regret.
Self-Regulation
- Mindful presence. Take a breath. Unless there’s a threat to physical safety, there is usually not an urgency to respond. This takes practice… so begin to take a breath before responding, in non-stressful situations—a bit each day will develop your capacity to pause.
- Hand over heart. Be kind to yourself. Self soothe. Trauma recovery specialist, Peter Levine: Self Hold And a 6 minute talk by Peter Levine on the Self Hold
- A practice I’ve adapted from Jeffrey Rutstein: place one hand on my cheek and one hand over my heart fostering a sense of kindness, friendliness towards myself. Breathe. Then move your hand from your cheek to your forehead…. fostering a sense of friendliness towards your thinking. I imagine my brain relaxing, taking a break. Breathe. Then move your hand from your forehead to the back of your neck. Here, I send friendliness to my whole body, a sense of gratitude, ease, kindness. Breathe. Lastly, move your hand from the back of your neck and have one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly. Breathe. Here I lean into whatever needs feel alive for me. Presence. Calm. Consideration. To matter… whatever it is. I don’t overthink it, rather I allow whatever need is present to be known, to be held… to matter. Breathe.
- Go for a walk, take time out. If possible, reschedule the difficult conversation, even if it’s in ten minutes.
- Practice Self Empathy. What are you telling yourself? What are you feeling? What are you needing? Click here for a short video where I offer the practice.
- Lie down and do a somatic practice to ‘come back to one’s self’.
- Here is an in-depth article, How to Enhance Connection, Happiness, and Ease: The Neuroscience of Self-Regulation written by Jeffrey S. Rutstein, PsyD, CHT
Diane Musho Hamilton writes about the Amygdala Hijack here.
How do you self-regulate? I’d love to hear about what works for you! Send me a message below.
