A Flat Line in a Vast Space

Flat Line

The dictionary* describes a flat line as:

  1. To show a horizontal line on the monitor of an electrocardiogram or an electroencephalogram, indicating no electrical activity.
  2. Informal To die.
  3. To be in an unchanging condition

Flat lining best describes the strangeness in me last night and upon my first waking. As someone who, on most mornings, gets out of bed with a sense of anticipation and welcoming in the new dawn, this feeling of ‘flat lining’ is unusual, disturbing and awakens curiosity.

What is it that stirs in me every morning to awaken, meditate, get dressed, tidy my space, drink lots of water, prepare breakfast and go for a walk, swim and stretch or head out to the garden?

Every morning, with very few exceptions, I love to get up and out. I am not someone who curls up in bed with a book, or comes back with a cup of tea; or makes calls to their friends or just hangs out under the sheets.

What calls? Listen deeply.

Flat lining

I stay still and watch the emptiness. No strong emotions. No calling to do anything. No up or down. Just a flat line in a vast space. It doesn’t feel bad or wrong. It feels strange. Different. Disturbing. My need to engage, contribute and move creating little tremors of restlessness. Unease… and, in watching it, ease. Listen deeply.

Last night, I was able to say no to an email request when I just didn’t have the juice to do it right then. Last night, I didn’t do my meditation. Last night, I didn’t even have the mojo to put my ear plugs in. Listen deeply.

Flat line in a vast space.

Resting

Leaning into not knowing

Trusting

Flat line in a vast space

To die into the moment

To live

Just as it is.

Max Richter – On the Nature of Daylight

The Voice of Your Own Soul – John O’Donohue

*American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. Copyright © 2016 by Houghton MifflinHarcourt Publishing Company.

 

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Lynnie Robertson
Lynnie Robertson
3 years ago

To experience what is different without judgement, to know this is all new because you’ve never gone through anything like this before, to keep loving Self although the voice is just a whisper, to do everything differently no matter how weird it feels. This is your courage and stepping bravely into the unknown. Soft hugs, Wendy, you’re doing really great😘🙏🏽

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Marg McD
Marg McD
3 years ago

Dear Wendy
Fall into whatever gives you solace and ease

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Jill Ienna
Jill Ienna
3 years ago

Beautiful, succinct and transparent

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