There were many stories when I met with David and Sarah last week at their home. Naturally there were both tears and laughter as they shared stories of their beautiful son, Glynn. Grief moves through the many layers of emotions: one minute crying, the next minute laughing. Waking up and feeling ok until the loss is felt once again and the tears start over. I adapted this quote by the writer, Heidi Priebe, as part of the ceremony for Glynn.
As Long as There Is Love, There Will Be Grief.
The grief of time passing, of life moving on half-finished, of empty spaces that were once bursting with the laughter and energy of people we loved. As long as there is love there will be grief because grief is love’s natural continuation. It shows up in the aisles of stores we once frequented, in the ….’colours of the birds of paradise’… Grief is a giant neon sign, protruding through everything, pointing everywhere, broadcasting loudly, “LOVE WAS HERE”. In the finer print, quietly, “Love Still Is”.
This new relationship with Glynn, out of physical form, takes time, takes tears, laughter, stories… maybe even a little bit of Triple M music… more tears, pain and then circling back to stories, laughter and song… in a cycle known intimately by the seasons, the gardens… and all beings.
Nothing we can say, can take away this pain. However, you can offer Glynn’s family and close friends your company, listening to the sadness, to the confusion, to the heartache. It may be uncomfortable and yet it will be healing if we can offer our quiet, caring presence especially in those difficult moments. The first Christmas and birthday without Glynn…the first of many celebrations where they will miss their son. Take time, kindness and courage to speak Glynn’s name, and recall the stories and the memories.
It’s also important to remember, that however Glynn’s death has touched you, maybe even stirring other grief, you are not alone. You needn’t do grief alone. It was important to David and Sarah who care for your wellbeing, that you know there are many resources available to help if you feel at a loss. There is a list of support services on a brochure on the back table. They hope you feel their love and care for you at this time.
Grief Support and Self Care A5
Glynn will be remembered for his love of his family: David and Sarah, Cassie and Bianca, Leona and Mat and their daughter Savannah, his favourite, Savvy.
Glynn was an absolute gentleman. A shining star for how men should behave: polite, considerate and kind. A sweet heart. Generous to a fault. He could be proud of who he was. A fine young man. He was a great friend and mate to many. He was deeply loved by his family and friends.
You will miss his funny awkward look that he got on his face. You will miss his wicked sense of humour. His beautiful face. His big smile.
David and Sarah are moving home next month and they will take the big elk horn with them and create a quiet sitting place in their garden. A place where they can sit and talk about Glynn and laugh and cry. They give thanks for the many precious memories of the close family time over the many years they were blessed with Glynn’s presence.
You will remember Glynn for his gentle and generous heart. He was a wise old soul.
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What words bring you comfort in times of grief? Please leave your comment below!