From Warrior to Elder
I received an inquiry online today:
“I’m wondering if you’ll be hosting any upcoming elderhood weekends. I’ve done the … boyhood-to-manhood rite of passage, among other things. However, strangely enough, while they have an elder community, no one has as of yet come up with a warrior-to-elder rite of passage weekend. My theory is that it’s in part due to America’s youth-infatuated culture. I have no desire to let go of youth myself. But I know this was a big deal in tribal life – the conscious laying down of the warrior sword and the taking up of the elder staff. I could really use that transitional support for what I’m attempting to achieve in my life. If you have any advice on this topic, please let me know.”
FROM WARRIOR/WARRIORESS TO ELDER
My reply:
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your reflections on transitioning from the warrior phase to Elderhood. I hear your resistance to letting go of your youth! Your insights resonate and I appreciate the thoughtfulness you bring to this important topic.
Although I’m based in Australia, not the USA, I agree with the significance of a ritual or rite of passage to support this transition. The move from a life of active engagement—whether as a warrior, or other dynamic archetypes—into the wisdom and stewardship of Elderhood is a profound shift. It’s a journey that is enhanced when there is a conscious acknowledgement of this transition, just as indigenous communities traditionally marked these passages.
In my own life, the transition to this next phase of my life, Elderhood, is being greeted through mentoring people by request, and engaging with a small group of Elder Women who meet online monthly. It is a sacred space of reflection and questions and support. I am also a big advocate of journalling any transition. I am currently writing for a seven day period up until New Years Day, for the change of year, acknowledging the gratitude and mourning and the vision for 2025.
I’d like to offer these following suggestions for ritual to mark the transition from warrior to Elderhood.
- Ceremonial Surrender of the Warrior Role:
- Begin with a symbolic act, such as physically laying down an object that represents the warrior phase of life.
- Replace it with an object or Elder emblem that represents wisdom, guidance, and stewardship.
- Reflection on Life’s Battles and Lessons:
- Create space to share stories of your achievements, your celebrations and also the challenges and mourning of your role in the community, and the insights gained from them. This can be done in a group setting with others at similar stages or in solitude through journalling.
- A Commitment to Elderhood Values:
- Define what Elderhood means to you: nurturing the younger generation, offering wisdom, fostering community, or embodying patience and presence.
- Speak this commitment aloud to friends, the trees, the river, the ocean, or the room you are sitting in; or write it, creating a tangible anchor for this new phase of life.
- Connection with Nature:
- Consider a personal retreat in nature, perhaps at a site with deep personal or spiritual resonance. Engage in a solo or guided walk to reflect on the interconnectedness of all life and your role as an Elder.
- Community Recognition:
- Invite family, friends, or community members to bear witness to this transformation. Their acknowledgment of your journey affirms your role as an Elder and strengthens the community bonds you aim to support.
- An Offering of Wisdom:
- Share a teaching or experience that encapsulates what you’ve learned in life. This act of sharing reflects the essence of Elderhood: sharing knowledge selflessly to enrich others’ lives.
The work you’ve already done with the ‘rites of passage’ speaks to your dedication to personal growth. While the organisation you contacted may not yet have an Elderhood-focused ritual, your inquiry might spark interest in creating one within that community. Additionally, I encourage you to seek local or virtual Elder circles, as they often include meaningful rituals and mentoring opportunities.
One community where I facilitate a ‘mourning and celebration circle’ once a month is The Fifth Direction hosted by Asher Packman, a heart-filled man who I believe would be interested in connecting with you. His community, The Fifth Direction engages Australian and American people.
Thank you again for your message and for embodying the courage to consciously embrace this life transition. It’s through individuals like you that these important discussions and rituals can take root and flourish.
I would enjoy hearing how these suggestions resonate (or don’t) and what steps you might take in making this transition from Warrior to Elder a joyful and celebratory reality.
With gratitude and respect, Wendy
To my readers: What are your thoughts on this? What rituals could you imagine engaging in as you transition from the warrior or very active part of your life to Elderhood (which I acknowledge may still be very active!)? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
I loved this post! Wendy, I just discovered your blog and am making my way through your posts feeling I’ve stumbled upon a goldmine. I don’t feel I am transitioning from the Active Phase of my life as much as I feel I am very deep in it.
On reflection, I do think some ritual or acknowledgement of entering this active phase would have helped the transition (actually, I know it would have). I am only coming to realise the value of ritual and beginning to understand what ritual is and how I can enact ritual in my life. I am grateful for Elders who can impart their knowledge. There is SO much to learn but the more I learn the more rich my life becomes. Thank you for all that you offer.