Hard Stories to Tell
‘His family said, Jason* was a good boy, he just had a lot of stuff happen to him; and now after all these years of family life, it is hard to say goodbye. He will be greatly missed….’
The ceremony I delivered for this young man was very carefully compiled as there were many hard stories and we searched hard for the good memories. Life is like that sometimes. The family themselves said it seemed very unfair that so many challenges were a feature of his life.
I wrote these Words of Remembrance:
‘May you remember Jason for the rare moments of warmth and connection that were there at different times. May you approach his memory with compassion, understanding that even in a difficult life, there were sparks of care and love.
Jason’s life reminds us of the courage it takes to navigate a turbulent world, and your memory of him will forever be a call to embrace the complexities within each of us with kindness and understanding.
As we reflect on Jason’s journey today, we honour a life that was a blend of resilience and struggle—a testament to the complexities of the human spirit.
Rest in peace, Jason.’
His sister chose the following poem called: I Love You Still by Becky Hemsley. It was a reflection that no matter how hard the stories… there can still be love.
I do believe that, as celebrants, our time with families is a privilege and the spaciousness we can bring to the meeting gives rise for a range of stories to unfold and, most importantly, we can never assume anything. Where it sounded like there was very little love… there was a great depth.
I can’t say I loved you. I just can’t.
Because it makes it sound as if my love is past tense.
Gone, finished, ended.
And that is so far from the truth.
My love is not in the past. It will never be gone.
I love you now. Still.
You didn’t take all this love away with you. It stays. It lingers.
Some days it jumps up and hits me in the face just to remind me that it is still here.
Still persevering.
Some days it nudges me. Challenges me to keep going.
Daring me to find the strength to get through the day.
But mostly, it just resonates inside of me with everything I do.
With every step forward and every glance back.
Every close of my eyes. Every breath.
My love is not dependent on you being here.
There is nowhere far enough,
and nothing permanent enough
to stop me from loving you.
So, I will not say I loved you.
Because I love you.
Still.
*Name changed for privacy.
Beautifully put!
Greetings Wendy, it’s Geraldine in Colorado USA thinking about you, May all be well with you and yours. Peace, love and poetry, Geraldine
Greetings Geraldine. Lovely to hear from you. Much love x