Wendy’s voice is full of love and laughter, honest and deep, daring to go to places many others avoid. Her voice shares the beauty in nature, people and life in all its imperfection and purity. Her intelligence, wisdom and kindness are revealed with her words, a joy to those blessed to read or hear them. Dr Georgina Gibson
Image: Doris Zagdanski and Wendy Haynes
Community Conversations about Death and Dying
Death and Dying Expo ‘Talking about sex won’t make you pregnant, and talking about death won’t make you dead.’ Bringing together local industry experts in the End Of Life Field on Sunday 4th August 2024, 9am-1pm at Woopi Gardens Talking about death doesn’t have to be morbid. Rani Foreman (End Of Life…
Read BlogThere were many stories when I met with David and Sarah last week at their home. Naturally there were both tears and laughter as they shared stories of their beautiful son, Glynn. Grief moves through the many layers of emotions: one minute crying, the next minute laughing. Waking up and…
Read BlogBeing deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu I wrote this poem after reflecting upon the vows we make to each other. For Better, For Worse I marry you Knowing That you will die Or leave; Or, that…
Read BlogI’ve been writing a few ceremony poems lately for couples and families. This one captured a whole story in a few lines which family and friends enjoyed. “I’d like to share a very short reading… a compact story… almost like a long haiku about their union; it’s called: …
Read BlogThree in Transition by David IgnatowI wish I understood the beautyin leaves falling. To whomare we beautifulas we go?I lie in the fieldstill, absorbing the starsand silently throwing offtheir presence. SilentlyI breathe and dieby turns.He was ripeand fell to the groundfrom a boughout where the windis freeof the branches A…
Read BlogWhen I witnessed a highly polarised and conflicted situation being met with love and compassion, I had to watch it again. In a group that was struggling, Aya Caspi, NVC trainer and facilitator spoke and brought people into a place of connection and shared agreement. Her presence and clarity was…
Read BlogI was camped by a river out in the far reaches of western NSW for two weeks when I met one of the local farmers. He pulled up a crate, grabbed a tinny from the back of his ute and sat around the fire pit with my partner and I….
Read BlogLast night in our online Celebrating This Precious Life session we discussed what it is to meet our fears around death and dying. What are some of these fears? Fear of…. suffering physical and emotional pain, fear of dying alone, fear of my partner or child dying first and the pain…
Read BlogMy partner and I had ten days in Fiji this month. The Fijians friendliness, care and kindness were an elixir of connection, nourishment and joy. Our niece, Mireille, also lives in Suva and she joined us for a short time for wonderful late into the night conversations and hugs. Aside…
Read BlogEvery morning after waking and before I get out of bed I place my hands over my heart and lie there in the stillness. Not doing anything, just being with love. “Loving-kindness is about connection, an offering of unconditional love for ourselves and others. In this, we are not trying…
Read BlogCassie and I are very excited as we start to prepare the food and lean into the daily mindfulness and presence practices that will enhance our being in Bilkbilkmi (Graveside) Country. A dear girlfriend who lives in Katherine and spends a lot of time hiking and camping in the NT…
Read BlogI am feeling so grateful to the Deaf Connect trainers, Deaf volunteers and fellow students for a wonderful Auslan Only Weekend up at Mt Tambourine, Wangerriburras Country. Learning Auslan, Australian Sign Language, has been hard work yet so rewarding. I feel a deep calling to learn this beautiful language and…
Read BlogI do love a spontaneous ceremony…one that has a light sense of structure to hold a grieving family. The matriarch of the family was 102 when she died. This glamorous and gregarious old lady had lived a great life. Not everyone in the family wanted a ceremony but once again,…
Read Blog“Imagine the feeling of relief that would flood our whole being if we knew that when we were in the grip of sorrow or illness, our village would respond to our need. This would not be out of pity, but out of a realization that every one of us will…
Read BlogI was contacted by a family member who had been estranged from their younger sibling for over fifty years until just a few months before they died from a terminal illness. No-one else in the family wanted a ceremony but this sibling and their partner really did. I visited the…
Read BlogJack of All Trades Late of Fernmount in the house he built himself in 1993 when he retired to work as a local jack of all trades for the next 25+ years. Born in Boort, Victoria, raised and worked around Barellan, New South Wales, RAAF service in the jungles of…
Read BlogNeed a Hand to Get Your Thoughts in Order? Often people contact me to get ideas for a eulogy, ceremony or tribute; to ruminate what works, what doesn’t work; what needs to be said.. and not said. This was one of those mornings as I walked and talked with a…
Read BlogA Man to Remember I met with Ted’s family who adored him. They shared many funny stories and secrets while we looked over the back hills of Coffs Harbour. The rain was coming down in sheets. This esteemed gentleman had lived into many different lives. “Ted will be remembered for…
Read Blog“Imagine the feeling of relief that would flood our whole being if we knew that when we were in the grip of sorrow or illness, our village would respond to our need. This would not be out of pity, but out of a realization that every one of us will…
Read BlogNorma Jean… what a fun Mum and Nanna! After a wonderful visit with Norma’s family I started to write the ceremony. It was clear she was greatly loved… I received emails from six of her adult grandchildren. I was privileged to read them. There were tears everywhere. “Grandchildren can hold…
Read BlogA dear friend, who went through cancer treatment at the same time as I did two years ago, shared this poem with me last week. It made me smile. I befriended death at that time. A Date with Death Death asked me to join him for dinner so I slipped…
Read BlogI was deeply moved by the care, wisdom and generosity of spirit on Anarpipe Country, north east of Alice Springs where I was honoured to spend a week with the team from Kings Narrative Pty Ltd: Tyson Carmody and his brother Kynan Barnes, and their friend, Chris Forbes. I am…
Read BlogCelebrating This Precious Life: I recall climbing the Alps in France nearly 15 years ago when my partner and I were WOOF’ing (volunteering on organic farms). We would get up early, with our head torch lighting the way to climb to the peak and see the sunrise over the snow…
Read BlogLevenvale Farm…peaceful tranquility with a wide vista of the surrounding farmland, forest, hills and wide open skies in Gumbaynggirr Country…with the sound of the birds and an occasional moo and bellow. Levenvale Farm, a beautiful place to hold a ceremony. I visited there last week for Michelle and Celeste’s ceremony…
Read BlogThe ceremony for Russ opened with a beautiful piece of music he loved, a quiet track from the band, Bread, called, If. I first met Russ nearly three years ago when, as a celebrant I supported his wife, Kerrie and her family to say farewell to her dad, John and…
Read BlogMargaret’s family chose this beautiful version of Amazing Grace sung by Guy Penrod to open the funeral ceremony for their mum, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, aunty, nana, great nana, neighbour and dear friend. Margaret was not your average 92-year-old. Until recently she was still driving, volunteering at the Parkinson’s Society, and enjoying…
Read BlogMiri and Iain were married on the land of the Ngunawal and Ngambri people, the original custodians of the land where the National Gallery of Australia now sits by the lake. A land of rich colours that has been witness to many ceremonies, songs and stories for tens of thousands…
Read BlogJoin me for transformative gatherings: Mourning and Celebration Circles “I was so impressed with Wendy’s facilitation of the mourning and celebration circle that I recently joined. She set such a loving tone, while simultaneously creating a container for authenticity and connection.” Tamara Staton — USA Online Circle Tuesday 5th March…
Read BlogMemorial Ceremony for the Celebration of the Life of Carl Rudolph Eyres Friday 23rd February 2024, Serenity Beach, NSW Opening Music: This is a Lovely Way to Spend an Evening—Frank Sinatra Dear family and friends, on behalf of Carl’s wife, Wil and their daughter, Sharon, I’d like to welcome you…
Read BlogIn a writing workshop with Carolyn Flynn, I was working on a hermit poem, a poem that takes on the shell of any form: recipe, invoice, email, shopping list, bible readings etc. She offered her participants a very long list of possible ‘shells’ our writing could take and ‘bible readings’…
Read BlogAs I woke, I could hear the rain outside my window. Steady ground soaking wonderful for the garden nurturance. In my swimmers, I walked out onto the beach. Alone. The ocean was warm as I floated on my back. I opened my mouth to catch the falling drops and saw…
Read BlogLife’s Two Truths : Holding Celebration and Mourning in our Hearts Join us for an enriching hour of conversation, connection, and contemplation on the profound topic of death and dying, and the art of truly living. What to Expect: Engaging Conversation: Share in an hour of thoughtful and open dialogue…
Read BlogGrief and love are sisters, woven together from the beginning. Their kinship reminds us that there is no love that does not contain loss and no loss that is not a reminder of the love we carry for what we once held close. Frances Weller The Mourning and Celebration Circles…
Read BlogA Taste of Ongo: Everyday Nonviolence – the first three weeks of the program written by Catherine Cadden and Jesse Wiens Chu – outline foundational practices for speaking and listening with compassion, care and wisdom. I am too much! I am not enough! I am alone. I am scared of…
Read BlogThe Celebration of the Life of Margaret Eileen Picton (nee Finn) In this ceremony for Margaret, there will be space to give voice to your grief and mourning, and also your gratitude and celebration of a beloved woman who lived nine and a half decades. There are many memories you…
Read BlogMay you awaken to the mystery of being here and enter the quiet immensity of your own presence. May you have joy and peace in the temple of your senses. May you receive great encouragement when new frontiers beckon. May you respond to the call of your gift and find…
Read BlogA Quote from The Amber Spyglass A Reading for a Wedding Ceremony Every atom of me and every atom of you. We’ll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds Phillip Pullman Photo by Rodolfo Clix: https://www.pexels.com/photo/blue-and-black-damselfly-on-green-leaf-1024898/
Read BlogMay you have peace, kindness and joy in your life. May you live with curiosity and mindful presence, Friendliness and deep listening Towards your own self and others. May you embrace the celebration and mourning That is present as you breathe each day. May you have what you need to…
Read BlogA beautiful couple hosted a very small and intimate gathering for their wedding in the reserve overlooking Minnie Water. I arrived at the holiday home half an hour before the ceremony was to start. Once we were all ready we walked down to the reserve to stand under the shade…
Read BlogHonouring Bruce Today, as we come to honour Bruce’s way of being in the world, there will be stories, songs, prayer and, as Bruce was a keen jokester, a few Bruce jokes that will be shared. In this gathering you will grieve as a family, as close friends and as…
Read BlogThree weeks before Christmas, Rebecca ‘Bec’ Ferencz died at home unexpectedly. When talking with her family, the main impetus and reason for being, in Bec’s life, was her family and also her work. Bec was passionate and highly motivated; she was a big feeling person and opinionated and caring. She…
Read BlogGoodbye Nancy I met with Nancy’s family a few months ago when her daughter, Michelle rang and asked for support to prepare for her mum’s death which was imminent. Michelle wrote to me, “How fortunate I feel to have your support during the dying, death and celebration of my dear Mum!…
Read BlogThe Promised Land On a warm December morning, the bride, her brother-in-law and I drive along the winding road into the forest to set up the ceremony space. It is a dark forest. A magic forest. A thick canopy drapes light and shadows across the river. We step out of…
Read BlogThe Scattering of Ashes The inner circle of close family met at the mouth of the river on the outgoing tide. They held hands and then scattered Sue’s ashes into the water followed by fresh frangipani’s. The ash covered the surface and sank, the white and yellow flowers bobbed up…
Read BlogDad moved in next door earlier this year. He is 87 years old and a larger than life character. He is cheeky, funny and charismatic. He drives me nuts at times. It’s wonderful to have him living so close as his dementia creeps in. After a stroke three weeks ago…
Read BlogIt’s my experience that the more we engage in deep listening and mindful presence as individuals and as a community, the greater is our capacity to be present to what is happening in the moment, no matter what. I wrote the poem below after a Mourning and Celebration circle for…
Read BlogOngo: Everyday Nonviolence. Starting January 2024. Registrations open soon! Tenderness as the Nurturing of Grace You see, when the world becomes too solid for nuance, when it hardens up and crystallizes into a binary that forces you to pick a side, compelling you to become intelligible to the hardness that…
Read BlogTwo Strong Hearts I always take a few conscious breaths when I come to stand at the lectern or at the front of the ceremonial area. I pause a moment to connect with myself, the guests—right to the back of the room, and to the closest family at the front….
Read BlogCelebrating the Life of Denise Smith Denise was privately cremated and the ceremony was held in the Woolgoolga Lakeside Caravan Park ‘gathering space’. Denise worked here for over a decade and she absolutely loved the place. After the words of welcome… Denise Smith… also lovingly known, by different people, as…
Read BlogThe Words of Remembrance Let us give thanks for Barry’s life. In his last days, Barry quietly said his time was up. He knew it wouldn’t be long and was accepting that this was his time to leave. Even though we know this is the natural way of things, Barry’s…
Read BlogA small private family ceremony was held for the Late Nita Matten. I closed the ceremony with the quote from the poet, Tagore. Death is not extinguishing the light, but putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.
Read BlogBob’s family, chose the evocative track of music O Mio Babbino Caro sung by Andre Rieu and Amira Willighagen as the opening song for the Celebration of the Life of Marius Laurentius Gimbergh, who was lovingly known as Bob. I conducted the funeral and graveside ceremony for Bob’s beloved wife,…
Read BlogI met with the family of a woman who had died unexpectedly: her siblings, in laws, adult children and their partners, and grandchildren. They laughed and cried as we told stories together. It hadn’t been an easy family life with alcohol and partying being a strong theme, and none of…
Read BlogI cried watching this choir. I cried for the children, the mothers, the fathers, the people of the world. Koolulam, One Day – Matisyahu, Haifa, 14th Feb 2018. “One day this all will change…” 3000 people, three languages and one Haifa, all singing Koolulam and hoping that the ‘One Day’…
Read BlogSix pallbearers carried Jim’s coffin into the chapel while we listened to Charlie Pride sing, I’m Just Me. After the coffin was in place, the pallbearers were seated and I had stood near the lectern, Paul Scherr, Jim’s son-in-law, offered a ceremonial military salute with a drawn sword. Excerpts from…
Read BlogCara died a short time after she had successfully received a heart transplant. Cara was a courageous and beautifully wild young woman who was an advocate for HRI and organ donation. She was just 39 years old and had her wedding dress ready to marry her fiancé on the 28th…
Read BlogBrad lived at home with his mum and dad for most of his 39 years. It was a huge shock when he died unexpectedly. Meeting with them at their home in the tender place of grief and the sharp space of disbelief, they told of their love and joy of…
Read BlogWhen Mina and John shared their love letters with me, I was delightfully surprised. I love co-creating ceremonies with couples and families because you never know what will come forth given the space for creativity. They had gone off the ‘love letter’ script that I offer all my wedding couples….
Read BlogThe chapel was filled with families hugging, talking, laughing, children running around… Bob’s casket sitting at the front. I could imagine him sitting back in his chair watching the Hannaford clan gathering. Bob could be proud of this lovely family energy, a sense of connection, care and support. The Hannaford…
Read BlogWendy Bartram was greatly loved and cherished. I spoke with Wendy’s carers, some who had been by her side for 30 years. Carers who, when speaking about her, cried, laughed and told the stories of Wendy’s many antics and jokes, her kindness, joy and stubbornness. I also spoke with Wendy’s…
Read BlogYou Are so Beautiful by Joe Cocker was the opening song for this beautiful ceremony for Lee (Alicia) Cox. Lee and her husband, Dick (dec) owned Cox Brothers which was a fruit and veggie shop where I shopped once a week in my younger days. I received a tribute from…
Read BlogDux of the Class In high school, Julie excelled and was the Dux of her class. She became a school teacher and taught for quite a few decades. All of her five children were in her class at some point in their schooling. Naturally, she had written many student reports…
Read Blog“Shaun loved his family and friends and he loved his carers… in fact, he loved most people he came across. He will be remembered for his empathic and engaging way with the world; and his stubbornness and determination! Shaun will be remembered for his cheeky and happy personality, the way…
Read Blog“Death comes in the middle of a long life.” This old Irish proverb goes back to ancient understandings of initiation and the wisdom that comes from the awareness and acceptance of death as a teacher. Our next gathering: Thursday 21st September 7.30pm We had the inaugural online gathering of ‘A…
Read BlogLots of money for one hours work…. a poetry reading for celebrants! Earlier this year, I was invited to present two sessions for The Celebrant Network’s (TCN) National Conference in Melbourne. The gathering was to celebrate 50 years of celebrancy in Australia. I was confident to accept the offer to…
Read BlogBeautiful pieces of poetry often get sent to me… especially around death and dying. Today, my dear friend, Margot Smith, sent me this poem by Pádraig Ó Tuama, The Facts of Life. You can click here to have Pádraig read it to you. The Facts of Life That you were born…
Read BlogBob was a well respected and loved local policeman for many years. Bob’s beloved wife, Kath and daughter, Sue organised a beautiful funeral ceremony which included a Police Tribute and Ode. The ceremony was held in Coffs Harbour on Monday 7th August 2023. I met with the family, and discussed…
Read BlogI met David about 16 years ago when he took my son under his wing to train him as a pilot. My son got his pilot’s licence before he got his driver’s licence! David and Heather were also good friends to my mum and dad. I had regular chats over…
Read BlogArtificial Intelligence. It’s easy. Writing ceremonies, writing poetry… why not use AI, Artificial Intelligence? It’s easy, it’s quick. At The National Celebrants Network Conference on Saturday in Melbourne, I listened to a delightful celebrant and speaker, Scott Broadbridge-Brown. Scott’s a lover of technology and spoke with clarity and ease about…
Read BlogLife’s Prayer… calling you home. Often I will craft a special poem or blessing for a family when they are seeking special words that really speak to them of their beloved who has died. I met with the family of the late Shane Webster and they were looking for a…
Read BlogKathrine Fraser, from The Celebrant School—Te Wänanga Korowai Aroha (New Zealand) has invited me back to guide another series of Writing sessions for celebrants. Kathrine writes, “Back by popular demand, this writing series particularly appeals to practising celebrants wanting to expand their creativity and ability to respond to the stories…
Read BlogOne of Australia’s most noted celebrants, Dally Messenger III, writes, “On July 19, 2023, Australia celebrated the 50th anniversary of civil celebrancy. In her captivating book on Lionel Murphy’s life, Dr. Jennifer Hocking recounts how Murphy, almost single-handedly, persisted for several years to achieve the groundbreaking reform of no-fault divorce….
Read BlogI’ve always loved good questions as much as the answers. Questions open doors. They can build connection. Patti Digh’s weekly news from the Orange Desk is a welcome read. Informative, interesting, quirky. This week Patti quotes the writer, Rainer Maria Rilke: “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart…
Read BlogWhat is Love? Home by Imelda May ‘What is love?’, you ask My head spins, recallin’ every song Story, words, and glorious things I ever heard Every cliché rings in my ears Like a bell announcin’ the birth of a new day Or the death of yesterday Depends on how…
Read BlogThere’s a space we can lean into when it feels like there’s no space at all. The space of the breath. Of feeling the ground beneath our feet. The space of holding ourself close. It might be easy to find ‘the sacred space’ as you sit here and read this….
Read BlogCome and join me for two sessions at the Golden Anniversary Conference and Dinner. I will guide a session on inspiring ceremonies and in the evening share a collection of poetry about celebrancy. Click here for an introduction to my poetry and a reading of The Fisherwoman’s Net. This poem…
Read BlogThis One Precious Life Last week, I had a wonderful conversation with Chani Grieve, the host of The Embodiment Journey. I am a guest speaker in Module 5 of her program, Trusting the Heart where she is introducing how a path with heart allows us to live and love fully, and also helps…
Read Bloglet’s meet at the confluence where you flow into me and one breath swirls between our lungs Andrew Dellinger Photo: Wendy Haynes
Read BlogA Love Like No Other Wrapped in her possum skin cloak, Gina’s softness towards life and the land is apparent in its rawness. Gina’s knowing and trust of the lands capacity to hold her and love her was embodied. She leans into the relationship between earth, body, heart and mind….
Read BlogMark Tredinnick is a celebrated poet, essayist, and teacher. He is also a son. I have just finished reading Mark’s beautifully crafted and very moving tribute to his mother, Heather. It’s worth reading in a quiet place. Get comfortable and give yourself the time to soak in Mark’s eulogy to…
Read BlogThe Field—A Little Bit More Than A Sijo Wendy Haynes ‘Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. — Jelaluddin Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks Before I meet you there, may I steal a moment …
Read BlogJoin us for a wonderful day of celebrating our celebrant history, and a look into the future and how to produce wonderful and relevant ceremonies. TCN National Conference 2023 Golden Anniversary Conference + Optional Dinner Saturday 29th July 2023 9am-10pm Batman Hill on Collins (opposite Southern Cross Station in Collins…
Read BlogI met Charles many years ago when he joined the local Professional Celebrant Network Support group here on the mid north coast. He retired a few years ago to spend more time with his wife, Lisa. It was very sad when he called to let me know Lisa had died….
Read BlogWithout true love, life has no meaning. Love is something organic, and if we don’t know how to handle love, it will turn into hate or despair, so we have to learn how to feed our love, so our love will continue to grow. In the teaching of the Buddha,…
Read BlogWhen Anne and Laurie wrote love letters to each other in preparation for their vows, Laurie wrote, “Anne, you came into my life like a knock on the door announcing the arrival of a new epoch. Although you were only steps from my door, it felt like we had both…
Read BlogONCE A MONTH, come gather with beautiful folk from around the world. The program will close to new participants after this session. Tonight, Monday, 1st May, 6.30pm AEST or join the Friday morning group, 5th May at 9am AEST. ‘Inspiring, empowering, peaceful, heartfelt, enlightening’… Celebrating This Precious Life: Honest Conversations…
Read BlogStrong and Determined at 96 years old… Evelyn’s family gathered on Thursday to pay their respect to their mum, nana, nanny Evelyn. I met Evelyn nearly two years ago, in the middle of the pandemic restrictions at the funeral of her beloved daughter, Diane. Diane died in June 2021 and,…
Read BlogFor Mark—In Remembrance In my office I saw the email shoot across my screen and it caught my attention. One of the women who was joining one of my programs wrote, ‘I think you may have been the celebrant for my husband’s funeral a long time ago.’ I found the…
Read BlogFamily life can be challenging… and it can be hard to re-build bridges that have been burnt. In my work as a celebrant, I come across situations regularly where one or more family members are estranged. Sometimes, there is an acceptance and/or very clear boundaries about the estrangement and, at…
Read BlogThe Celebration of the Life of Greg Warburton Saturday 4th March 2023, Gleniffer Hall Excerpts from the Ceremony including Music Selection and Lyrics Opening Music: Land of Anaka by Geoffrey Oryema (Chorus lyrics) Obiga lead me in this darkness Show me the way Obiga take me to a place Where I…
Read BlogIt was a lovely gathering that fostered a sense of connection, care, curiosity and openness. In our short time together we covered practices that, once they become familiar, can increase capacity to engage in difficult conversations… whether to do with living or dying. We shared our stories and dipped lightly into: what…
Read BlogThe Intensity of Grief It can be hard to say goodbye, no matter the circumstances. For a close knit family or community holding an intimate ceremony to share the grief and love can be a powerful way for grief to be witnessed in a safe space. Such was the case…
Read BlogIt’s Time to Talk about Death and Dying A fabulous list of great things to read, watch and talk about…. Death Literacy, Planning and Conversation Tools
Read BlogLiving well for a cause… with kindness. I first came across Fred Rogers after seeing a recording of him giving voice to why the children’s program, Mr Rogers Neighbourhood should received the necessary funding to keep it going strong. He was successful at getting the funding through kindness,…
Read BlogHonouring the Life of Margaret Crawley Words of Remembrance Margaret, Marg, mumma Bear, mum, nan…. adored her only grandson, Harry and her daughters, Sandy and Michelle and Michelle’s partner, Jason. She loved and respected her mum and dad, Royal and Mavis, and her siblings, Bruce, Joy, Cliff, Donald, Philip and…
Read BlogOne of the gifts that came to me during my time of healing last year is a joyful connection to poetry. I am re-writing the program, Celebrating This Precious Life: Honest Conversations about Death and Dying, creating poetry to introduce the themes for conversations. This, I find, requires a lot…
Read BlogWe return to each other in waves. This is how water loves. Nayyirah Waheed
Read BlogLast weekend, Julian and Clarisse were married in the meditation hall at Bundagen, on a warm afternoon surrounded by the tall, cool rainforest. Their family and friends overflowed onto the decks of this beautiful, quiet space. Family had flown in from Brazil and there were copies of the ceremony available…
Read BlogCeremony for the celebration of the life of Jodie Bowron. Scotts Recreation and Surf Club Wednesday 4pm 5.2.23 Music: Forest Gump Soundtrack Welcome to Country: Kelvin Jarrett We gather to honour the beautiful life of Jodie Bowron. On behalf of Jodie’s wife, Linda, and their daughters, Jorja and Malika, I…
Read BlogI recently received a request for an interment of ashes for an old lady. The lady was estranged from her biological family so I spoke with the stepson, Stan.* My heart went out to Stan as he spoke to the character of his stepmother, Joan. ‘She was nasty’, he repeated…
Read BlogIf you have some experience of how the weeds in your mind change into mental nourishment, your practice will make remarkable progress. Shunryu Suzuki Self-empathy is a practice of giving attention to the weeds in your mind… so you can listen with presence to what they are pointing to. My…
Read BlogThis post was inspired by a letter I wrote to a friend who recently bought a copy of my book, Inspiring Funeral and Memorial Ceremonies. Death is a sacred time and, in most cases, for the ceremony you can create what you feel would be true for you, for the…
Read BlogCelebrating This Precious Life – Honest Conversations about Death and Dying You are welcome to join me for the next six-month online program, “Celebrating This Precious Life: Honest Conversations about Death and Dying”. There are seven sessions once a month on the first Monday of the month. Starting April 2023…
Read BlogLet the Candles Speak —by Patricia McKernon Runkle Slip off your needs and set them by the door. Enter barefoot this darkened chapel hollowed by loss hallowed by sorrow its gray stone walls and floor. You, congregation of one are here to listen not to sing. Kneel in the back…
Read BlogMy dear friend, Ankya, who recently died, shared this poem with me a few years ago. Ankya was a wise elder… she was strong, vulnerable, gorgeous, funny, inquisitive… she was authentic in every way. The Journey of Love —Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer When my teacher told me Everything we love…
Read BlogMy dear friend, Ankya Klay, died suddenly on Monday. There is a tenderness knowing that yet another one of my friends has left this world; and a warmth knowing she and I had many conversations about this very moment. When I heard the news, I saw her beautiful smile and…
Read BlogWe had a NYE family ritual when my kids were little of putting a large piece of cardboard or butchers paper in the centre of the floor or table. We would all have coloured pens and write down the things that had touched us in the current year. Highlights, gifts…
Read BlogOne of the many things I love about Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is the people. I studied Convergent Facilitation (CF) with NVC trainer Miki Kashtan and she is nothing short of a powerhouse of courage, vulnerability and a woman of straight-talking and action. Convergent Facilitation is a means whereby people come…
Read BlogCelebration of the Life of Sharon White Tuesday 13th December 2022, River View Island, Tewinga, NSW Opening Music: Cool Change—Little River Band Welcome to Country: Michael Jarrett I’d like to welcome you to this ceremony to honour the life of Sharon White, also known as mum, Shaz, Shazza and…
Read BlogWords of Remembrance Shirley will be remembered for her love of her family—her parents, her siblings and their families. She cherished her husband, Jimmy, and their two children, Murray and his wife, Robyn and Vikki; and she adored her grandchildren, and great, and great, great grandchildren. Shirley will be remembered…
Read BlogAs I walked around the corner of the sandy cove it was clear where I was going. There were two tripods made from beach driftwood, bound together by hessian ribbon and decked with a raucous display of native flowers. These sentinels sat at the edge of a circle that had been…
Read BlogI’m back for 2023! I am delighted to announce that Kate Raffin and I will be hosting two Ongo programs next year starting in February. 12 week Ongo: Everyday Nonviolence online program – a practical, doable guide if you want: to relate to others in a more collaborative way that brings connection even…
Read BlogThe bride showed me a small shallow, intricately carved bowl with two flat lug handles. The quaich had been in her Scottish grandparents family home for generations. Traditionally the quaich (pronounced quake) was used as a cup of welcome or farewell in the Scottish Highlands – usually filled with brandy or…
Read BlogBeing Wendy Mindfulness—awareness of the present moment, without judgement. A foundational way of meeting ourselves in all our fullness, colours, stories, feelings, sensations. Our body. Our breath. That quiet moment between sleeping and waking, before the thoughts cloud the empty space of being. Before the list of things to do takes…
Read BlogMindfulness: Engaging in Thorny Conversations as a Celebrant The Celebrant School in New Zealand is hosting a very special program next month. Join popular presenter and celebrant coach, Wendy Haynes on Mon 21 & 28 Nov by Zoom, 7-9pm, if you ever find yourself caught in these thorny situations as…
Read BlogThe Well of Grief Those who will not slip beneath the still surface on the well of grief, turning down through its black water to the place we cannot breathe, will never know the source from which we drink, the secret water, cold and clear, nor find in the darkness…
Read Blog“Close your eyes or simply let them soften. Take a few deep breaths and then it fall into a comfortable rhythm… Turn your attention to the energy of loving kindness that lives in you. Offering this energy of loving kindness to yourself, say, in the quiet of your own heart. May…
Read BlogI met a lovely couple who are choosing to have a quiet weekend away with their children… to get married. They have a big family and many friends so they feel a wedding would get out of hand pretty quickly if they did the big wedding celebration and they wanted…
Read BlogMemorial Service for Hilda Martin The Coffs Harbour Regional Botanic Garden A magpie sat on the bench at the very back of the pagoda of the Japanese Garden. It moved its head from side to side as the family placed their mother’s box of ashes on the table. Two colourful…
Read BlogIn Memory of Kevin Cosgrove Kevin was a larger than life character who was loved by his family and friends. The celebration that his wife, Pauline and daughter, Pip created was a perfect reflection of the man they loved. The memorial service was held in the Raleigh Hall: simply decorated,…
Read BlogClimbing great heights up sculpted rock pathways, walking in dark moss filled rainforest, looking over steep cliff edges to the dark blue ocean below; being in awe of the spring wildflowers, gifted with a gentle breeze and blues skies, revisiting a place where I spent my childhood and early teens……
Read BlogI am constantly amazed by the offerings given to the world by Ongo: Everyday Nonviolence authors, Catherine Cadden and Jesse Wiens Chu. I extend their invitation to join us online. The short video meditation is a gem that is beautifully crafted together. Catherine and Jesse write: The Ongo Book 2.0 is here,…
Read BlogThe Long Now I have joined the faculty at The Fifth Direction! I’ll be hosting the Elder Wisdom Circle online every fourth Monday of the month at 7.30pm (Sydney, NSW). You are most welcome to join me in the company of a beautiful group of women. Thank you to…
Read BlogOne of the hardest ceremonies to write is that for a young child. This little girl died from unknown causes and, as you can imagine, caused a tidal wave of shock and grief in this young couple’s life. Here are some excerpts I wrote for the ceremony. I have changed…
Read BlogAn Old Coffs Harbour Family The Hannaford family contacted me as they had a last minute change when planning the funeral ceremony for their beautiful mum, Neta. The minister they had hoped would conduct the funeral service had a family matter arise. We met Friday evening for the ceremony on…
Read BlogCelebration of the Life of Heatherbelle Lee I cannot remember where I first met Heatherbelle over two decades ago; and yet I can say with certainty that her smile was present every time we saw each other. In her last week, she requested I visit to discuss ‘death and dying’…
Read Blog“Have you got a story burning a hole in your bottom drawer or a pile of writing that sounds better spoken? Do you want to deliver presentations without slides or are you learning to perform your poetry? Learn to combine writing with public speaking. Whatever you call your text, it is…
Read BlogIt’s been a beautiful and busy week with four funerals and a poetry slam. Roslyn McMaster Last week on Wednesday 24th August the McMaster family said goodbye to Roslyn. These are some of the words of remembrance before I closed the ceremony. Roslyn’s kind, thoughtful and supportive nature will be…
Read BlogPoetry is leading the way for me at present. Calling me in the night and early morning—a conduit for the various layers of undoing, sense-making, ritual practice, deep listening, being and giving that this life has offered up… especially recently. I joined Asher Packman from The Fifth Direction on Monday…
Read BlogOn a sunny Sunday morning in the local community garden, 40 people gathered to yarn up Death and Dying. Gumbaynggir man, Micklo Jarrett engaged us enthusiastically with his deep infectious laughter, embodied Gumbaynggirr language and the story of the tree of life. After his Welcome to Country in language he…
Read BlogThe wonderful poet, David Whyte hosts a series of talks every second month, called the Three Sundays. In the last session of The Three Sunday’s in July he read the poem, Forgiveness from his book, Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words. This inspired me to use his…
Read BlogHome Death—A Haibun (Prose and Haiku) The young woman was a mother of four children—her drawn, pale skin tight on the small frame that was once full of energy. The breast cancer had slowly crept into every soft curve of her body. Her mind, at this moment of the…
Read BlogThe Peace of Wild Things The Peace of Wild Things—written and read by Wendell Berry When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be, I go and lie down…
Read BlogUsing guided practices from the mindfulness, Ongo: Everyday Nonviolence and Celebrating This Precious Life programs, we will come together online to share our Mourning and Celebration Circle. Mourning… the loss of a beloved family member, friend, pet, member of the community… or the loss of a job, a change of situation, financial…
Read BlogMel Greblo from The Coterie Global invited me to join her in Conversation. The end of 2021 for Wendy Haynes brought with it a stark and unexpected diagnosis—a rare ovarian cancer. The dawn of the new year would be marked by radical surgery to remove the tumour and learning whether the cancer…
Read BlogAcknowledgement of Country I give thanks for the beauty and support of the land upon which I get to live, work and play— and support ways of conciliation by giving voice to my knowing of whose land I am on—the Indigenous people have been connected to Country for tens of thousands…
Read BlogNaming/Welcoming Ceremony for Clara Rose Yesterday, I conducted an enactment of a naming ceremony for the participants of the Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants National Conference in Adelaide. Michael Elwood, one of the conference team, invited his daughter, Diana and her husband, Nathan and their beautiful daughter, Clara Rose, to…
Read BlogDiversity is the mix, inclusion is making the mix work. Andres Tapia Diversity, Inclusion and Inspiration was the theme for the Australian Federation of Civil Celebrations National Conference in Adelaide this year. As the main speaker, I offered the following story.* “Imagine you are hosting a dinner party. Every guest…
Read BlogBlessings from the celebrant community At the recent Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants National Conference held in Adelaide, I conducted an enactment of a naming ceremony. The celebrants participating were encouraged to write a blessing for the family prior to the start of the enactment. I invited them to imagine…
Read BlogA Natural History Of Love —Diane Ackerman “Love. What a small word we use for an idea so immense and powerful. It has altered the flow of history, calmed monsters, kindled works of art, cheered the forlorn, turned tough guys to mush, consoled the enslaved, driven strong women mad, glorified the humble,…
Read BlogJohn Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as: ‘Awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally in the service of self-understanding and wisdom.’ At a very difficult emotional period in my life, my sister in law, Terry, sent me this link to a talk by John Kabat-Zinn. I researched the…
Read BlogMonday 8th August is the National Dying to Know Day. “An annual campaign that empowers Australians at all stages of life to live and die well.” You can find lots of amazing events and gatherings on their 2022 events page, some from the Groundswell Project Australia and others from individuals, organisations…
Read BlogMatariki – Ritual of Reverence and Respect On this starry, cold winter’s night in Australia, with the moon nearly full I joined The Celebrant School in New Zealand to participate in an online ceremony for Matariki. In New Zealand, the appearance of Matariki (the Pleiades) marks the start of the…
Read BlogI am slowly making my way back out into the world after a period of recovery, rest and retreat and wanted to invite you to join me at three gatherings where I’ll be sharing stories of my experiences with Ongo: Everyday Nonviolence, Mindfulness… and some of my poetry. Some of…
Read BlogDropping into Life: The invitation at diagnosis and through recovery As a guest facilitator of the Renew and Rise Festival last year I was delighted to be a part of an inspiring and creative team. The online festival was hosted by Mel Greblo, a dear friend and colleague. Mel has invited…
Read BlogThe Impermanence of Being Here—this was my first choice that I performed at the Bellingen Readers and Writers Poetry Slam 2022. My first ever poetry performance, my first ever poetry slam. I know that may sound strange given that I’ve read lots of poetry at lots of ceremony and for…
Read BlogBellingen Readers Writers Festival 2022 If I had known what a Poetry Slam was, I wouldn’t have performed. One of my Bellingen friends suggested that I enter the Bellingen Readers and Writers Festival Poetry Slam. The rules looked straightforward—three, three minute poems, no props, no music. I signed up without any…
Read BlogA popular song for funerals and this week it was chosen to commence the funeral ceremony for Greg Blain. The family chose the version played by Israel ‘IZ’ Kamakawiwo’ole. In this video, at 2.37minutes you can see the paddle out organised for Israel’s scattering of ashes—a very moving expression of…
Read BlogI am honoured to have been invited by the Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants (AFCC) to speak at their 2022 National Conference—Sunday 24th July to Wednesday 27th July 2022. The Conference will open on Monday 25th with dancer, writer, stockbroker, family man, Li Cunxin as the Keynote Speaker—The Power of Story. After Li…
Read BlogI’m resting on Gunggandji Country—a small island just off Cairns. A week to rejuvenate with my beloved. This weeks practices have focused on body and breath awareness. A previous spinal neck injury has flared up causing considerable pain—it’s at times like these that I bow down to the skills that I…
Read BlogIt was an act of grace signing up for poet, Mark Tredinnick’s ‘What the Light Tells’ Poetry Masterclass late last year. Completing his inspiring workshop series is responsible for me being a part of this years Bellingen’s Readers and Writers Festival. I’ve signed up for the Poetry Slam on Friday…
Read BlogTonight I was working online with a fabulous group of inspirational, brave, creative, willing and responsive celebrants from the The Celebrant School, Te Wänanga Korowai Aroha in New Zealand. Kathrine from The Celebrant School organised three sessions that I facilitated online called the Creative Oasis—writing practices for celebrants. The participants shared notes,…
Read BlogThe sky is a mass of pink cotton-balls as the evening closes in—the lorikeets have gone their way and there is a solitary bird singing just outside my window. I sit here in my lounge room as the chill sets in and I wrap my scarf around my neck. I’ve…
Read Blog21st Birthday Celebration Celebrant, Kathrine Fraser, joined the Writing Oasis run by The Celebrant School – Te Wānanga Korowai Aroha in New Zealand. As the guest facilitator, I created activities and prompts to help develop ceremony openings. Kathrine shared what she wrote for her son, Martin for his 21st birthday celebration…
Read BlogLove my Cancer Goodbye! Last Thursday I was in Sydney to see my Gynae-Oncologist, Dr Rhonda Farrell, who confirmed that my Inhibin B blood count, which indicates the presence of the Granalosa tumour cells, is now under 10 which is within the normal range. In January, just before the surgical…
Read BlogPeggy and I met in Sandy Beach here in northern NSW and the brisk wind came in from the south as the season turned. The lorikeets feasted on the autumn blossoms. Peggy had been given three weeks to live. With my pen in hand taking notes for her funeral ceremony,…
Read BlogI’ve been in Sydney this last week staying at McMahons Point—a place I am not familiar with. Each day I would set out, rain or shine, and follow my heart, the sun, the path, a twist or turn, an interesting house, a beautiful tree and see where it would take…
Read BlogAs I recover from the amazing journey that I have had with ovarian cancer, I am feeling stronger in the body yet my energy is still called upon to meet the day to day challenge of tiredness. I have been turning towards my practices and decided to focus daily on…
Read BlogWriting Oasis I have been frustrated over the years by writing workshops that haven’t met my expectations. This, tonight, exceeded them by light years. Amazing tutor, beautiful content and inspirational fellow students. Feeling like I just won Willy Wonka’s Golden Ticket right now! Loved the learning & encouragement from this…
Read BlogWhere Do I Have Agency When It Comes to War? My dear friend, spiritual director and Nonviolent Communication (NVC) colleague, Pam Winthrop Lauer attended a call with one of my NVC teachers, Miki Kashtan. Where Do I Have Agency When It Comes To War—Antidote to Helplessness: Notes from a call…
Read BlogTributes from Grandchildren to Their Beloved Nana The love between a grandparent and a grandchild can be richly encompassing and nourishing. Jenny loved and adored her grandchildren and great grandchildren. Here are the three beautiful tributes that were shared on the day of Jenny’s graveside funeral—spoken with tears of love…
Read BlogThere is Room at the Table for Everyone We all have something we can bring to the table whether it is joining the front lines of actions or keeping the home fires burning. We each have a unique way of showing up in the world and finding our way to…
Read BlogFarewell Jenny and Stan Eleven months ago, I conducted the graveside ceremony for my friend’s elderly father, Stan Szewczyk. The stories around the dinner table as we gathered to create the ceremony were filled with lots of laughter and good memories and inevitably, tears for this transition they all knew…
Read BlogWith the current crises happening around the world and, more locally, with the intense flooding along the east coast of Australia, it can be a challenge to stay connected to what nourishes and supports us. As I was walking the headland this morning with my partner I felt deeply tired…
Read BlogI sit and write at my table that overlooks my garden. It’s raining a lot. Here in Gumbaynggir country and all up and down the east coast of Australia, we are in the midst of torrential downpours, flooding, big seas and strong winds. There are intermittent breaks in the rain…
Read BlogI have been enjoying participation in the Poetry Masterclass, What the Light Tells, with acclaimed teacher and poet Mark Tredinnick during my recovery time. It’s been an inspiration. Each week we have learnt a few different forms and I have stretched my brain around Iambic Pentameters, beats and rhyming words—sonnets, haiku,…
Read BlogI’m humming along this new path of resting after my surgery a few weeks ago. I am bone tired, at times, which supports me to embrace the rest with a sense of gratitude for the love and care that is being showered upon me, which is richly nourishing and healing….
Read BlogSowing Seeds For as long as I can remember, I have sown seeds in my vegetable garden in the first week of the new moon. I used to buy the moon planting charts yet, the truth is, I didn’t take too much notice of the elaborate astrological computations as to…
Read BlogIn the Hands of Grace Five weeks ago, I was sitting on the steps, in the small circular grassed amphitheatre at the front of the Prince of Wales Hospital in Sydney. I had just seen my Gynaecological Oncologist, Associate Professor Rhonda Farrell, I called my partner to let him know that I…
Read BlogThich Nhat Hanh, the renowned Vietnamese Buddhist monk died yesterday, aged 95. I smiled with gratitude and felt a warmth in my heart for this beloved teacher. I sat and watched my breath. I am aware that I am breathing in. I am aware that I am breathing out. Thay’s…
Read Blog‘Hello Wendy!’ The joyful sound of Rhonda’s voice made me smile. ‘It was a Granlosa cell tumour confined to the ovary.’ My surgeon continued the message, ‘Great news, the rest of the lab tests came back negative. You won’t need any more treatment, just follow up tests and regular checkups….
Read BlogFlat Line The dictionary* describes a flat line as: To show a horizontal line on the monitor of an electrocardiogram or an electroencephalogram, indicating no electrical activity. Informal To die. To be in an unchanging condition Flat lining best describes the strangeness in me last night and upon my first waking. As someone who, on most mornings, gets out of bed with a sense of anticipation and welcoming in…
Read BlogDay Six. Found a park bench to rest under some trees. The grey sky, cool wind, spitting rain and new growth remind me of the Snowy Mountains yet I find myself here in Sydney. Resting as if in the wilderness. Surgery demands it of me. Rest can be an elusive…
Read BlogThe body is doing well. I still ache however today I stopped the pain meds and there is ease. I am in a quiet place and feel blessed to have the resources to rest. There are four nice scars, healing on the points where the surgeon entered to do truly…
Read BlogI heard the delivery man call out from the gate. Is your name Wendy? He handed me a beautiful floral oblong box, not too dissimilar to a narrow, small hand decorated cardboard coffin. I laughed and cried when I opened it up to reveal a vase full of budding sunflowers and…
Read BlogThe sun set in the west over Botany Bay once again last night and, without fail, this morning the sun rose on its own accord over the Pacific Ocean. There can’t be too many patients who wander around the corridors, compass in hand, in the early hours looking for an…
Read BlogThe third day blues. Inevitable. A doctor friend called it the day of reckoning. A restless night with bad dreams, fear, pain, questioning with periods of drifting off to sleep and light dozing so as not to completely wake me up, rather keep me that ‘dark night’ space. I sit…
Read BlogYesterday, as I lay outside the surgical theatre, I could hear the music inside, muffled voices and the preparation of things being moved about. I had requested to not have the pre-op sedation so I was lying on the bed fully conscious. I found my mind wandering as I looked…
Read BlogYesterday one of my colleagues who I got to meet in person very recently, sent me an email, ‘Good evening Wendy and my blessings for this New Year. With your upcoming surgery on 14 January I will Palanca for you all day.’ Marg is a woman of devotion and this…
Read BlogA normal blood test result of Inhibin B is under 10. Today my surgeon gave me news that my count is 9740 which is consistent with my lesion having a 95% chance of being a Granalosa cell tumour, a rare form of ovarian cancer. After yesterdays post, I feel into…
Read BlogThe plane hurtled down the runway increasing speed as I watched the lush green mountains of Gumbaynggirr country rise up behind Coffs Harbour Airport. The plane wheels lift up off the ground and we are airborne. What strangeness is it that, without any hesitation, I put myself forward and pay…
Read BlogRemembering Robert Gonzales as playful inspiration, embodied compassion, still presence and one of the great teachers in my life. Robert initiated my understanding that compassionate Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and the living quality of presence was not only possible, it could also foster and enhance peace and connection within a community….
Read BlogA very warm welcome to join in our community practice of breathing together. Of holding space, presence, awareness, cultivating peace together. Please feel free to join me at 7.30pm AEDT (Sydney, NSW) for half hour guided mindfulness practice holding the qualities of gratitude and opening to life, to intention, to presence. The…
Read BlogHappy New Year dear friends across the world! I am deeply grateful for your presence and support over this last year. We have laughed and cried together, shared practices, stories, inspirational writing and poetry and for some of you, we have walked together in wild places. I have felt nourished,…
Read BlogFamily and friends gathered online with some nervousness wondering what would happen. It can be hard to show up to something you have no idea about. What will we do? How will we connect? Will it be safe? Paul’s partner had chosen a song to open the mourning and celebration…
Read BlogBeloved Misha What am I both mourning and celebrating? The richness and integrity of our conversations, his delightful open questions. Listening to his choice of music in the ‘hallowed’ space in the sacred middle space. The walks in the woods and Devon pathways. Misha’s big smile, wise words, quiet presence…
Read BlogDon’t just talk it, live it. As a participant in We Al-li’s* program, Dadirri, Ancient Aboriginal Mindfulness Traditions, I was listening to the introduction by lead facilitator, Judy Atkinson. A woman I greatly admire for her clear, direct, honest communication and passion for her work. She shared a pivotal moment…
Read BlogA Service Of Celebration And Thanksgiving For The Life Of Anna Maria ‘Ria’ Gimbergh Bob walked slowly over to the magnolia tree. He stood a while and looked up at the creamy white and dying brown flowers. With tears in his eyes, he walked slowly back and turned to me,…
Read BlogA Service Of Celebration And Thanksgiving For The Life Of Brian Trethowan “Brian lived a life that was blessed with a loving family, hard work, opportunities to grow and learn and, as with every person here, he had his challenges. There are many different stories here today, each one of…
Read BlogRani, Pauline’s granddaughter pre-recording this reading which was shared at the ceremony via the platform Zoom What is Dying? by Bishop Charles Henry Brent I am standing on the seashore. A ship sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean. She is an object and I stand watching her…
Read BlogTuck Hall. A true blue gentleman While speaking with the family of the late Tuck Hall, his daughter, Jo brought out a small carving of a white cockatoo. She shared how much her dad had loved these birds. When I was leaving the family home of the Hall Clan, on…
Read BlogThere were many beautifully written pieces as we engaged with the practices of the ‘Writing and Enthusiasm’ seriously playful, creating writing session this week. I’d like to share this one written by participant, Simone Wilkie. A Blessing for a Couple Coming Together This life will be a dance together, sometimes…
Read BlogNearly three months ago, Emerald Beach experienced the tragedy and shock of a fatal shark attack on one of the most perfect Sunday beach mornings. It was the 5th September, 2021, Father’s Day. The young man, Tim, who died on the beach, was not long married and his beautiful wife,…
Read BlogCalling in the elements to remind us of what is already here. The gifts the come from listening to the forces that touch and guide us in the most subtle yet beautiful ways. The poet John O’Donohue offers this blessing. FOR MARRIAGE As spring unfolds the dream of the earth, May…
Read BlogWhen You Meet Someone Deep in Grief Slip off your needs and set them by the door. Enter barefoot this darkened chapel hollowed by loss hollowed by sorrow its gray stone walls and floor. You, congregation of one are here to listen not to sing. Kneel in the back pew…
Read BlogMindfulness Meditation Quiet, still awareness supporting friendliness, kindness and peace. Every Tuesday 7pm AEDT – a guided mindfulness practice with a small group of people online. Click here to register and get the link. Holding Space: Honest Conversations Mindfulness, Grounding, Deep Listening and Self Empathy. Online – Thursday 18th November…
Read BlogHolding space… invites us to bring a mindful presence to our interactions. A space where we want to connect, we are interested in what is being shared and also, where we foster a sense of non judgement. It doesn’t mean that we always agree or have the same views. It means…
Read BlogIf you are looking for inspiration to write ceremonies or a reading; or you just want to write for yourself about love, life and loss, you will be made most welcome. Everyone is welcome, you don’t have to be a celebrant to join. When writing ceremonies, there are occasions that…
Read BlogPreparing for my upcoming session at the Renew and Rise Virtual Festival I contemplated how I could weave the threads of my work together. A rich blend of holding space for ceremonies, the honest conversations around death and dying, the mourning and celebration circles, online memorial services, non violent communication…
Read BlogAcknowledgement of Country A celebrant in New Zealand requested some ideas for a ceremony she was conducting. “I have an Australian groom, who has asked me if I am able to acknowledge the ground/land that his ceremony will be held on in Queenstown – like they do in Australia with…
Read BlogPlayback Theatre. Standing shoulder to shoulder, feeling slightly hotter than is comfortable and breathing a little deeper to try and rein in the racing heart, I notice that my capacity to think is diminishing rapidly, which is not necessarily a bad thing given what is about to happen. I realise…
Read BlogComing to Ground. Bear with me while I tell you about tiredness. It can creep up on you when you’re not watching or hit you like falling off a cliff. Let me tell you about the moment that I lay on the ground and completely let go to the earth…
Read BlogBuilding Healthy Communities -Talking with Children about Traumatic Events I am caring for my 4 and 7-year-old grandsons this weekend, here in Emerald Beach, so I opened the conversation with my daughter about taking the children to the water blessing/paddle out tomorrow that will be held at Shelley’s Beach in…
Read BlogMourning and Celebration Circle – how it touches people’s lives. Helena, who lives in Portugal, emailed me after her friend and colleague, Sam, thought she might be interested in a mourning and celebration circle to honour her dearest friend and partner, Pedro, who had died unexpectedly two weeks earlier. Pedro…
Read BlogLive streaming funerals and online memorial services are becoming a norm for many who are grieving the death of a loved one. In Australia and New Zealand the lockdowns are still happening with ‘stay at home’ orders in many regions. In NSW, funerals are limited to ten guests. People cannot…
Read BlogGRATITUDE for being alive, for being aware, for family, friends and community, for teachers, for poets – for David Whyte who writes, “Gratitude is not a passive response to something we have been given, gratitude arises from paying attention, from being awake in the presence of everything that lives within and…
Read BlogMindfulness Meditation Quiet, still awareness supporting friendliness, kindness and peace in oneself. Every Tuesday 7pm AEST – a guided mindfulness practice with a small group of people online. Click here to register and get the link. Ongo: Everyday Nonviolence A path of wisdom, compassion and peace. The current programs have…
Read BlogAmitaśūrī (pronounced “Ami-ta-shoori”), is an ordained Buddhist who has spent time as a Hospital/Healthcare Chaplain in England and Scotland. The following readings are crafted from the many threads that Amitaśūrī shared about her work and life as we engaged in a conversation about illness, life, loss, grief and death. We talked about…
Read BlogI participated in a three month online Conversational Leadership program with the poet, David Whyte. earlier this year. David’s first invitation was to ask, ‘What conversations do you want to stop having?’ It struck a deep chord within. What conversations do I want to stop having? Having just finished 14 days…
Read BlogIf you would like co-create a personal reading for a ceremony of any kind please contact me. I offer my services freely and together we can find the words to express what is calling from the heart. Ranjitha and I worked on this reading together after a young family member died….
Read Blog“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.” Worldly Wisdom according to…
Read BlogI feel light of spirit as I share the good news. Module 2 in the inspiring series of creative writing support and prompts for the Ceremony Writers’ Collective has just been released. Welcome to the Ceremony, offers a daily writing prompt over 14 days to stir open the possibilities for crafting…
Read BlogCelebrating This Precious Life was indeed in the air with our special guest poet and musician, Mícheál Ó Súilleabháin who joined us for one of the sessions of the current Death and Dying program. “Mesmerising Irish story-telling, song and profound, profound messages. Very touched by it all. Thank you.” “What an amazing…
Read BlogThe stimulus and response in relationship is often lightning quick. “Trauma is the invisible force that shapes our lives. It shapes the way we live, the way we love and the way we make sense of the world. It is the root of our deepest wounds.” This is the invitational…
Read BlogCondolence Letters of Care and Love Oftentimes, people are unsure of what to say to those who have experienced the death of someone very close to them. Carol, whose husband died unexpectedly, shared these two ‘love notes’ from neighbours that expressed to her a sense of connection, care and that…
Read BlogLife is a great big canvas, with the possibility of many colours, strokes and styles emerging from the unknown. When a family contacts me to conduct a funeral ceremony the possibilities are endless as to what might happen. The openness, creativity, friendliness and engagement of Jane in her funeral planning…
Read BlogI mentioned in an earlier blog, that when I first became a funeral celebrant one of my favourite books was, A Book of Eulogies; edited with commentary by Phyllis Theroux. It was a gem for many different reasons. Examples of well crafted eulogies, stories and a chapter on, What Death…
Read BlogAs I prepare a funeral ceremony with a 74 year old man, who is in palliative care, he shares a few stories with me. The retelling is slow as his mind wanders, yet I could sit for a long time even in the silence between the words. It is frustrating…
Read BlogWhen I was learning to be a funeral celebrant over 20 years ago, one of my favourite books was, A Book of Eulogies; edited with commentary by Phyllis Theroux. (Scribner 1997). There are many yellow sticky markers throughout the pages noting favourite phrases and intriguing perspectives. I was inspired by the…
Read BlogA Reading by Oriah “Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart, and I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my…
Read BlogIn a world culture that is seemingly focused on big, bigger, biggest, best and bestest… this invitation is to come as you are. Whatever groove you are in, whatever dance you are dancing, whatever storm has caught you, creative piece you are creating or sunset you are watching, you are…
Read BlogThe sun was shining across the wide expanse of ocean at Woolgoogla Beach – sparkling, magnificence to make one smile at the wonder of this natural landscape on our doorstep. It was a beautiful day for an ‘exit party’ as the Shorter family called it. The atmosphere was filled with…
Read BlogA Blessing by Kalidasa Look to this day! For it is life, the very life of life. In its brief course Lie all the verities and realities of your existence: The bliss of growth The glory of action The splendour of beauty For yesterday is but a dream And tomorrow only a…
Read BlogThis couple’s story of their ritual of closure happened quite spontaneously after a few years of painful interactions and challenges. “We were engaging in yet another fight over the same issue that we had been unable to find connection and resolve over. I can still recall the moment very clearly….
Read BlogAdrienne Rich, the American poet, essayist and feminist activist wrote prolifically about honest, alive and meaningful conversations encompassing love, loss and integrity. The following three quotes inspire an enlivening radical honesty to be a welcome mainstay in an ‘honourable human relationship’. Each of these have been used as part of…
Read BlogIf you have had the pleasure of visiting a Fijian island, you may have heard the song, Isa Lei, that is often played as you board the boat to leave and wave farewell. I feel the mourning in this song and, in the same breath, feel the gratitude and love. …
Read BlogWhat does it take to live a life that matters? Karen was bold and funny, brave and honest and incredibly loyal to those she loved as a mother, sister, aunty, colleague and dear friend. She was a woman who lived life with authenticity and engaging in honest conversations. It was…
Read BlogThere comes a time when all that has been lived, learned, loved and lost may need space for integration and to be honoured. A space to connect to that which has held you throughout all these adventures, struggles, challenges and … arriving home. A space to lean into the ‘quiet…
Read BlogWalking into the front room, a middle aged woman, eyes blotchy and tired, stood up from the lounge chair and moved towards me. She falters as a wave of emotion washes over her face. She wants to see me and yet she doesn’t. She would rather her son was living…
Read BlogNOTE CHANGE to AEST – SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA Online Mindfulness Meditation – Every Tuesday 7-7.30pm AEST Foster a sense of peace, presence and connection. To join click this Zoom Link at 7pm AEST on Tuesdays. Everyone welcome. Freely offered. Online Empathy Circles Freely offered. Language: English. For more information click here….
Read BlogAs celebrants we use many resources to write our ceremonies. In particular, the stories of our clients, our inner creative flow in response to these stories and also, the inclusion of readings, poetry and the inspired writing from others. A quote, like the words of wisdom from Aragorn, a character…
Read BlogJane rang me five weeks out from her wedding with concerns that her marriage celebrant wasn’t returning her calls. They had paid a booking fee yet hadn’t met with the celebrant to lodge the notice of intent to marry form. Jane was concerned that they would miss the deadline and…
Read BlogAt a recent funeral ceremony, the family had requested a local indigenous elder, Micklo Jarrett, to come and share a Welcome to Country. The rain was so heavy as I was driving to the venue that I nearly pulled over to wait for it to pass. Half an hour before the ceremony…
Read BlogNourishing, inspiring and deeply connecting. Weekly meditation sessions, monthly empathy circles, two sessions of Celebrating This Precious Life – Honest Conversations about Death and Dying and NEW Celebrant Writing Group. See details below or visit my Events page. Mindfulness Meditation – Every Tuesday 7-7.30pm AEDT A 30 minute, freely offered,…
Read BlogIt’s been very stormy here in Gumbaynggirr country, on the northern NSW coast. Thunderstorms and lightning, sunny breaks, heavy rain… quite unpredictable, wild and beautiful and, beyond all this weather coming and going, a vast spacious expansive sky. With so much uncertainty and many changes occurring in our outer world…
Read BlogAs I was crafting a ceremony for a young man who died unexpectedly from an illness, I was moved by his parents, Sarah and David*, sharing stories of their 22 year old son, Peter*, growing up. Aside from his love of nature and being outdoors he was into quantum physics….
Read BlogIt was hot and humid in the late morning sun on the beachside lawns. Mike and his guests were relaxing in the shade of the casuarinas to one side of the resort garden. Gemma’s mum came through from the reception area to let me know that Gemma had to make…
Read BlogThis 2 minute 40 second meditation is a useful for tool for cultivating a mindful presence so that when we need it in a tricky or challenging situation we have developed our ‘on the go’ mindfulness muscle. It’s a great way to check in, ‘What’s alive for you in this moment?’…
Read BlogDadirri – inner, deep listening and quiet, still awareness. “In the ceremonies we celebrate the awareness of our lives as sacred” Respected indigenous elder, Aunty Miriam Rose Ungunmerr Baumann received the Australian Senior of the Year Award 2021. Her acceptance speech was very moving. You can listen to it here. …
Read BlogOn Thursday, we came together as a community to say goodbye to Frank. Frank lived well, playfully and with passion. He was much loved by his wife, family and community. There were many beautiful reflections on his generosity, kindness and love of life, of being one with the ocean. One…
Read BlogFrom when I was first registered in 1995, way before Facebook was imagined, I used to take a photograph of every couple and had multiple, beautiful albums filled with photos and thank you cards. Today, as I decluttered filing cabinets and cupboards, I came across all the photo albums. Pages…
Read BlogLife can be challenging, beautiful, stressful, crazy, ugly, divine. Sourcing an inner sense of wellbeing and peace often has to be cultivated, nurtured and nourished so that you can access this presence and stillness no matter what arises. Each week you are welcome to join me for a free online…
Read BlogThe statement ‘death is your real nature’ may make no sense. Yet, this concept is well-known in Vedic traditions offering great comfort to the living and dying. It is said that the one of the main fears for humans is the fear of death. Not death itself, rather the thoughts…
Read BlogHappy New Year! This dragonfruit flower bloomed today as the dawn was breaking. Its glory may be short-lived yet I celebrated its beauty and offering to the world – to the bee’s, to our family and people who pass by and stop and gaze into the intricate and delicate cup….
Read BlogWedding ceremony readings come in all shapes and forms and it can be a challenge to source one that speaks to you or the couple 100%. For a start, people use and understand the word love in many ways – love for another, love for the world, love for life,…
Read BlogApparently, one of humanity’s greatest fears is ‘Death’ and, from my experience it is quite often a taboo topic enforced by unspoken social or familial codes or agreements that one should not be morbid or jinx or tempt fate or upset or …. fill in the gaps with whatever reasons…
Read BlogHow to come back into the body under stress.
Read BlogPeter and Lauren had a beautiful afternoon for their rehearsal – blue skies and a cool breeze. Lauren’s mum, Angela, and her father, Derek, were going to walk with Lauren from the car to where the guests would be seated. At this point, her father would shake hands with Lauren’s…
Read BlogPlanning a Memorial Ceremony Online. Mike’s wife, Shania and adult children, Tarn and Bryn and their close family friend, Sarah, organised an online memorial ceremony on the tenth anniversary of Mike’s death. Sarah took responsibility for all of the IT aspects, Zoom set up, invitations and emails. Friends and family,…
Read BlogSonya and Brett had a small wedding candle decorated for each of their guests with different values or ‘universal needs’ written on the side – Joy, Peace, Belonging, To Matter, Respect, Fun, Trust, Love, etc. Each guest was given a wedding candle as they entered the ceremony venue. The usher…
Read BlogDeath and grief can touch us in many different ways. We can feel an openhearted, acceptance of the death of a loved one and then, without any warning, a song, a smell, a memory and we can be crying and aching to the core of our bones. Mourning the loss…
Read BlogI was invited to conduct a handfasting ceremony on a beautiful farming property up on the Dorrigo plateau in northern NSW. The garden, where the ceremony was held, was a maze of pathways that were an invitation to wander through the terraced beds of flowers and shrubs down to a…
Read BlogCalling in all Guests – Alternative Wedding Music If you are looking for alternative wedding music, you might want to go for something very personal to call in your guests. This following wedding ‘processional’ was unique and a joy to listen to and be a part of. The excitement of…
Read BlogCreating an Advanced Care Directive, writing a will… hard topics to broach? There is plenty of support to get you started and it’s amazing how many people actually find it’s a relief to talk about things that are super important to them. It can provoke questions and answers that can…
Read BlogBirthday Gift for a Teen Finding a birthday gift for a teenager can be challenging when so much is happening in their lives. Their hormones and bodies are changing rapidly, priorities are shifting, relationships are developing; and they have a growing awareness and focus on their sense of self and…
Read BlogArtist, Candy Chang, created the first ‘Before I Die…’ wall on an abandoned house in New Orleans after the death of someone she loved that left her world shattered. For a long time, Candy struggled with grief and depression and she became acutely aware of how few people engaged with honest…
Read BlogThere are many joys and challenges to be welcomed in a marriage and this reading by Rev. Carl Thitchener captures the essence of what is needed. A blessing for a wedding can stir in the couple and the guests a sense of the sacredness of the journey and the mystery!…
Read BlogAlinta needed understanding, acceptance and forgiveness and to move forward. This ceremony helped her.
Read BlogTurning 16
Read BlogFor celebrants: I provided many easy resources on my website for wedding couples to access which helped to foster a sense of care and trust. The Wedding Budget Planner was an email I sent out with my information kit. Wedding Budget Planner Whether you are planning a simple gathering of…
Read BlogEmotive wedding or funeral songs, a playful naming song…whatever tracks you choose for your ceremony, music is a key component because it can evoke our connection with joy, love, mourning and loss, stillness and movement – the very essence of life and death. Stephen Hough (concert pianist and blogger) writes in…
Read BlogRitual and Ceremony candles Ritual and ceremony candles have been around for years. Having visited more old churches, chapels and cathedrals in Europe, than my teenage son appreciated, I was touched by how many of them offer the invitation to light a candle to ask for support, offer gratitude or…
Read BlogWedding checklist – When, what and who to do list! Planning your wedding day can create more space and ease as you know exactly what’s what.
Read BlogThe Wedding Party. What do they do? When? What’s the best way to make this wedding flow? Delegate. Read more.
Read BlogCouchy Creek Road – a letter/story written by indigenous woman, Beth Wrigley, to her yet to be born grandchild, on the occasion of her daughter-in-law’s blessingway ceremony. My dear little grandchild, There was a gathering at the river – a celebration of you growing so big in your mummy’s tummy….
Read BlogEmma’s Naming Ceremony was held at the popular Boambee Creek Reserve. John and Alicia arrived with John’s parents, Les and Val, and their close friends, Niki and Pete and their daughter, Jenna. It was to be a small gathering as Alicia’s parents and also. the godparents couldn’t attend. Pete recorded the…
Read BlogWedding ideas to get your guests onboard for the journey. Gathering your family and friends around for the wedding ceremony can be awesome. Lots of love, laughter, dancing, hugging…it’s a community affair. Here are some great wedding ideas to engage your guests in being advocates for your marriage, long after…
Read BlogWhat fun I have had writing a ceremony for a beautiful young couple getting married in a very small and intimate ceremony. I had 16 pages of heartfelt love letters to read – what a privilege to share in their appreciation and love for each other. They also wanted a…
Read BlogThe presence of family and friends in the life of a couple and a family can be a true blessing. Having a community of close people who uphold and support them through all the changes, without judgement or pressure is a great gift. The demonstration of family and community support…
Read BlogIn lieu of flowers, I would wish for you to flower. I would wish for you to blossom, to open, to be beautiful.
Read BlogPutting aside all ideas of right and wrong… and opening to connect, to really listen.
Read BlogWhat is Marriage? What is Love?
Read BlogA drive-by funeral tribute
Read BlogWaking in the peace of mindfulness
Read BlogIt was clear that the tears were not going to stop for a while…
Read BlogDespite the long term obstacles of distance and time apart…
Read BlogNo matter what stage you are at in planning your wedding, I hope you find some valuable tips in my wedding planner to make your wedding flow with ease! Wedding Planner 6 to 12 months before the wedding Layout your wedding planner – go through this list and determine your…
Read BlogIn 2008, my partner and I celebrated our eleventh anniversary of being together. If you’re curious, there is no rhyme or reason for celebrating 11 not 10 years as is the custom in our western culture! Having been a celebrant for all of these years I had come to know…
Read BlogI love walking and resting on sun soaked rocks… “Epitaph for a Romantic Woman” by Louise Bogan She has attained the permanence She dreamed of, where old stones lie sunning. What might be your epitaph?
Read BlogPracticing mindfulness of the body can help us to regulate stress. Bringing your attention to each part of the body, like the hands, can draw our mind into being curious, alert and attentive to what is, as it is. Watching the sensations that come and go, that may be pleasant…
Read BlogCreate a plan for the lead up to your celebration day. Mark the day before your ceremony out of the diary. On that day, there will be no running about, picking up things, calling suppliers. Plan for an extra day for playing. Leave the day before your celebration as free…
Read BlogDivorce. Happily Ever After? Divorce can be a challenging path to traverse. How do we say goodbye to one we have both fallen in love with … and out of love with? And how do we say goodbye with love, with respect? This is not an exercise in semantics of what…
Read BlogThe warmer, sunny winter days are perfect for outdoor weddings. I was chatting with a couple who were getting married in the local Botanic Garden – the ceremony was to be in a beautiful spot by the lake. I asked them what they had planned in case of wet weather….
Read BlogI had conducted El and Dave’s wedding ceremony and their daughter, Maia’s naming ceremony when they called me to discuss their son, Riley’s, naming ceremony.
Read BlogMeaningful rituals and ceremonies can offer support and a sense of belonging in both the positive and challenging times.
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